When It Rains It Pours...And Then It Floods

As some of you may know I'm having some pretty shitty luck these days. No work, no money and things are piling up. How come when something awful happens, bad things just seem to keep happening for a weeks or months after it. I don't question the big Guy up there, but really aren't we taught not to kick someone when they're down. Come off it please! I know this is just a life lesson for me and it's supposed to make me stronger, but really enough is enough already. Atleast send me alittle love! I guess when it rains it pours, and then it floods and fills your life until you're drowning in a mess of life, barely keeping your head above the swell and just when you think it's done you in, you get pulled from the water. Well I'm at the point where I'm struggling to keep my head out of the murky depths and I'm losing faith that doggy paddling is going to keep me from sinking much longer.

 

The good part is I'm starting to find the humour in all this bad luck and troublesome situations I've been having. One thing that has really start to make my heart ache is not seeing my kidlets and babes. I did get a chance to see my girl a few days ago and when she lit up as I opened the car door I could have broke down in tears. I miss that little diva more than anyone will ever know. Kids have a way of grabbing ahold of your heart and not letting it go. But I was trying to talk about good things right? Anyway I've finally settled on a livingroom setup that I like and will probably keep for awhile. I don't know how many times I move my furniture around in a month. It's alittle chilly today but I did take 5 or 10 minutes to poke around the yard and ponder on what I'm going to do when it gets alittle warmer. I could have done more, but I didn't.

On the other hand I am volunteering at the school teaching photography for 40 minutes to grades 3-5. Just a little workshop thing they are starting, but it gives me a chance to see some of the afterschooler's from work. It's a bit of a kid fix. I'm really excited though because I'm finding my passion again and I took some photos with my newest lens. Trying to get better acquainted with it considering my multi-purpose lens is on the fritz and it's just another thing that I need to get repaired. My camera could use a good cleaning too, so I've got to look into that as well. Here are a couple (and I would have uploaded more, but this stupid pc and blogger aren't working together and it's only letting me make two photos big. But I'll throw in a small one to the right because I have some many cute photos that I want to show).

 

I'm not sure if anyone will know what I am talking about when I say this, but I really want to know how to take indie photos. It's really just a popular style these days. it's usually a low contrast with some sun flare, but I haven't mastered it yet. Sometimes it's a lot of photoshop, which I do know my way around, but I'm more of a lightroom kind of girl. Once I get my mac back, I'm going to try and sit down and figure out the photoshop way of doing "indie" photos. My friend, Cassidy is also wondering the same thing. A lot of really cute blogs have this kind of effect on their photos, and even in fashion it's popping up more and more. I don't mean to follow the trend, but I really do like the film-ish look that these photos have. It's really rustic and rich. I pretty much have a whole board on pinterest dedicated to this style of photo. These photos of my furbabes are my first attempt at sitting down with lightroom and trying to create the look. It's a good first try, but I'm not completely satisfied. Aren't they just adorable though?

 

 

 

 

 

I feel so disconntected from my world without my mac. I have barely been able to work on my photo life and I can barely put out a decent blog post. I really can't wait to make a post of all the lovely homeowning joys that I've had lately, but it probably won't be for awhile. I'll have to catch you all up. (all like 3 of you haha) Which also brings me to the fact that I want to try and start blogging better. I really don't know how to get followers or bring an audience to my blog. I really don't think there are many people out there that would want to follow along with me sometimes. I'm all over the place with my posts, I'm more of lifestyle blogger, then any other topic. Which makes me feel like no one wants to follow along with me. But maybe there are some people out there that will.

I hope everyone is keeping their chins up and smiles big!

Stay Happy!

The First of May!...oh wait it's only March

I know I am not the only one that feels like it should be spring already. I know that winter doesn't usually end for us until close to the end of March. Which is a whole month away from now. This is very depressing, but looking back at the past couple of months, they've gone by pretty fast. Which is also quite scary, because looking back at those months, I did nothing extraordinarily productive... my life has been somewhat put on hold.

I have got some good things going though. I invested in a can of paint to paint my what is a dining room but is going to be an office space until I build my studio. Which brings me to the work that I have been doing on my business, that's been pretty productive, BUT I also looked at it at another angle and realized that it's still going to be a good year or so before I can get enough money together to pitch my business and get a loan. So I'm still going to have to do it un-offcially for awhile. My mac is almost at it's 3 year mark and it's feeling it. Any that knows me, know that I am not a gentle person, I'm tough on shit and am always breaking things. I hate this about myself and I try to be more careful, but I'm always breaking something. People think it's because I'm careless, but really shit just kept happening, so I try to care LESS when it does so that I'm not crying all the time about the shit that I break lol Anyway, I was also examining my main lens which is almost four years old, and it too is having some issues, might be an easy fix, it just doesn't seem to be attaching to my camera body correctly.
Back to good things. I hosted an epicure party last night, because I love their products! I like that it's somewhat healthy dip, by that I mean that it's better for you than stuff you by at the store, and really tasty! I'm doing quite good in sales and hopefully will get just a little bit more so I can get some more free stuff! My next thing isn't productive, but it did make my happy, I'm all caught up on New Girl, I am a little bit in love with Zoey Deschanel, or maybe alot and I think she's just perfection. The show always makes me good about life, so I've just been watching that the past two days. Oh and I'm sleeping alot, but I like sleep so that doesn't bother me, I'm really just mixed up, I sleep most of the day and stay up all night. I'm backwards, that's what happens when I have nothing to do. I prefer being awake at night.

My biggest and final awesome thing is that I am down to 222.5 which I am excited about.

Stay Happy!

Playing Catch Up

Here are some things that I have been up to over the past couple of weeks. I haven't really posted a "life" post in awhile, I'll chat about this and that, here and there, but here is a couple chunk of my life in instagrams.

There was a bad storm a couple weekends ago, Nemo, I think was it's name. I went to my mothers house to brave the storm, incase the power went out and I wouldn't be stuck alone at my place with no heat and in the dark. I'm a big baby, I would have cried. Turns out the power only went out in moms part of the island and another up the island. My house had power the whole storm, but we were stuck at moms house together, with no heat or power...so that bit me in the ass. Then the day after the storm ended, we found out that a piece of moms roof blew off, froze the pipes in the back bedroom and one burst. Talk about a major racket! I woke up to a waterfall in the kitchen. Papa and I tried our best to fix it, but he's having alot of back problems and then caught the flu and I'm just no plumber/furnace pipe fixer.
I do have storm stayed post in my previous posts of what I did durning the storm, this was the aftermath that is caused and I didn't blog about.

Then the next day, Jackson, my BioBro gave us all a scare and is super lucky that he didn't flip her car when he went off the road on a bad corner of the island. Although he can be a reckless driver, this wasn't because of him. It was raining and the roads had black ice on them, so it could have been anyone, especially on that corner and not 2 or 3 weeks before this there was another accident just a bit farther from the corner. We're all just glad he's okay!

Next was one of my gym buddies birthdays! Ashley, she turned 23 and we're all still in disbelief of our age. Coming from a small town we've known each other for years. Over our gym date and a birthday dinner we reminisces about old times. I mentioned this in a post on the 13th, my weigh in. Here are a couple photos, Ryker, her son licking frosting off a knife and Ashley blowing out her candles :) That cake was delicious! This was also the first time I got to see Ashley's house, it's such a cute home!

Speaking of houses...I finally got my piano out of my house and I was so grateful to the man that took it that I didn't even take money for it. Maybe that was alittle stupid, but that's how bad I wanted it gone! Here are the photos of my living room now that it no longer takes up half of it!

I love this little stand that I found in the basement! I was able to set out some really cute stuff in my livingroom

They aren't the greatest photos of it, but it's better than nothing and I really like how it's set up now. I love having my tv in front of the windows :)

My FAVORITE thing about the past couple weeks is that I got called into work for valentines day! I was SO happy to see my babes and kidlets. I could cry everyday that I'm not at work because I miss that so much. And don't get me started on the baby fever. I went from having a nursery of 6 kids for 8 hours a day and now I have none! I would pop out one if it were possible to make one by myself and it not cost anything to do it. Plus you can't just pop those things out over night. It would take some time to grow it...But anyway here are some photos from that day at work!

My Little Love Bug <3 thought the valentine paint might taste as good at the cookies they just had at snack

I can't explain to you how much I missed my main man! I could have cried when I walked into the
classroom and he came running up to me. We were stuck together most of the day <3 

I have really missed my Brycer Boy, he's my main photoshoot man. Loves the camera and making silly faces!

At the end of the week we all celebrated another friends birthday! It was nice to get together with a group of girls to have some pre-celebratory card games and then head to camp to meet up with everyone else. And what would a good night be without some selfies before all the hot mess came out? Here are some photos of the night we celebrated Courtney's 22nd birthday. Why I have no photos of the bday girl is beyond me.

Deeanne's a pro at caesar making, I personally hate them, but I give her props for the how they look :) 

Dee and Maddy

To top the night off, my ex's ex was at the party and after deciding he
doesn't deserve either of us and isn't worth the fight, we decided to
snap a shot of the moment. It took me awhile to remember this the
next day. 

I've been trying to get some stuff done around the house and one thing that I did get done that I had been waiting to do for a long time was a jewelry holder. I have dangly earrings and there is nothing worse than not having a place to hang them. I never would have come up with something on my own so I thank God for pinterest.

I love it, but I need to pain the bottom hanger!

Oh, here is my giant Bunner! Isn't he the cutest <3 

Last week we decided that the women in the family would start getting together more and having game night. So far it's been just the girls, but maybe we will allow the men is later. It's been a blast. The first week we did it on valentines day and Chris out did herself with treats and decorations. We had so many laughs and it was a great time. I think this week was ever better! Not only do I love the games and the girls, but I love Jennilyn's baby, Libby. She's got to be the cutest baby ever and Cammy her older daughter is such a beauty and talk about hysterical! She's really started to come out of her shell! I think she was set on repeat last night.

Look at those eyes! isn't she just gorgeous! She makes me want to have a baby of my own, or kidnap her!

We played rumoli last night and it was such a good time. 

Next thrusday is my epicure party, so game night will be on wednesday at Julie's this time. And then we will all get together again on thursday for some yummy dips :) I will try to remember to get some photos of both events!

That's basically the past two.five weeks of my life.

Stay Happy!!

Storm Stayed & Cabin Fever

If anyone reads this blog that doesn't live in my area, we are in for a real doozy of a storm, yes I just said doozy because I am too tired to think of another describing word. I thought about sitting out the storm at my own house, but I'm too much of a baby if the power went out, who wants to be alone with no power? I would also be really bored all alone with no power. Instead, I came down to my mothers and hopefully won't be stuck here forever.
10:00pm-ish The storm has started and although I don't know how much snowing it's doing, it's blowing quite "fierce" out there. I put fierce in quotations because my first snow storm activity, which with the amount of cackling some could say that cabin fever has already set in...was looking up the hilarious photos of Beyonce during her super bowl performance. I mean we all love Beyonce, but I think I love her just alittle bit more after seeing these photos. She brightened my snowy night.

Here are some of my favorites and then the link where you can see more!

This by far is my favorite and I literally can't look at it without laughing, I'm not sure if its the
flared nostrils or the fact she's looking a bit granny-ish, but the hair tops it all off and I just
can't hold back the laughter.

This just looks like a really bad facebook profile pic. 

Raising the roof...and some suspicions of a bad smell.  

She can still smell it...

Something was alittle painful...maybe the smell came with some burning? 

This just scared me at first and I almost thought it was fake, until I found all the other
photos and figured it's just another great capture. My favorite thing about this picture,
beside the fact that her tiny train in the back resembles cobwebs between her legs, is that
my mother tried to re-create this moment. I'm not sure who looked funnier or worse,
Momma Lenny or Beyonce. Mom said "Beyonce wins, even though I have the moves
down I just can't make the face." That's not a bad thing mom, because if you could
and woke me up in the night making that face, I may run away forever.

MORE HERE

During my time stuck inside at this time of day, being 2:11am (cause if there wasn't a storm I would obviously be out and about...) but still this is a storm stayed activity of catching up on tv shows that I used to watch and currently keep up with. I'm almost caught up with 90210, I watched this weeks Grey's and I started to catch up on New Girl, but I'm still at the end of season one, so I have quite a bit to catch up on there, but they are only 20 mins, so I may accomplish all of that tomorrow during the storm.

I did a smidgin of organizing in my itunes library and downloaded the rest of Ben Howard that I was missing. I think I will work on a couple more blog posts tomorrow and do some actual productive stuff, like organize my life again and maybe do up a resume, because being laid-off really scares the crap out of me, especially after I just bought a freaking house...oh life, why must you torture me? I also need to get my ass in gear and work on some photo shit, when I'm depressed I lose all inspiration for photography and lately I've been in the hole a bit inside myself, so time to climb out of it and dust myself off.

Night, will continue this post tomorrow!

It's almost 5pm and we've just had some steady power for the first time today. Basically all I have done today is hide in bed, the only warm place since we have electric heat and no power, and read. The cold has made me so sleepy, but I am finally sitting up in the livingroom with some internet and warmth.

I planned to have all these really fun things that I did durning the storm, but really I didn't do anything my shiver and hope for some warmth. I really did enjoy getting through some chapters in my book that I NEED to finish. Since I haven't been in the nursery I haven't had much reason to read, I've been doing other things, but I had nothing to do but sleep or read today. I'm almost finished it and might just read for kicks and giggles tonight before going to sleep.

The book I am currently reading is "Beautiful Days" a Bright Young Things Novel by Anna Godbersen. She is one of my favorite authors, maybe my actually favorite. I love all her books. I get hooked on them, The first series I read is the second photo. I highly recommend them. They are about New York in the early 1900's and I wish I had been alive durning that generation, and rich of course.

The photos are in order that the books go and after looking at the covers of "The Luxe" series it makes me want to go back and re-read them. Maybe when I get a couple of my new books read I will go back to that series. I have to be honest and say that I was much more involved with The Luxe series than the Bright Young Things. I love both series, but I fell in love with The Luxe books and there seemed to be so much scandal in the that series.

Probably my favorite series I've read

This is Anna, she looks so young and she's
full of talent! 

Since the power has been on, I've been watching the Ghost Adventures marathon. My ex got me into the show and at first I thought it was really stupid. I mean I really love ghost shows, whether they are real or faked, but at first I thought that Zak was alittle over dramatic and it made things seemed really stressed and faked. But I have warmed up to him and I have seen almost every episode and really enjoy the show. There are a handful of episodes that creep me out, but there a couple of handfuls that I find really interesting, the technology that they use and experiments. I'm very open to the thought of the "paranormal" I guess you could call me a believer. But I believe in alot of things and maybe all the theories are connected. If you like the ghost shows/movies and haven't ever watch ghost adventures, I recommend it. I'm not saying you'll like it and there are some episodes that are flops in my opinion, but there are some really good ones too.

My absolute favorite paranormal show is Destination Truth, its been a really long time since there were new episodes and I think it cost a lot to keep the show going because it's a world wide investigation team and they traveled everywhere. But all of there past seasons and shows are awesome. Not all, but it's by far the my top rated ghost show, they don't just do ghosts either, they investigate all sorts of legends and myths, searching for the truth. And the host, Josh Gates is hilarious and I obviously fell in love with him. I don't know what I like more about the show, him making fun of his crew and the locals for all the places they visit, or all the cool adventures that they go on to find stuff. I really miss this show! It actually makes me sad, I may watch them all again. (I say I've going to read these books again and watch these shows over, but really I don't have time to continue with current stuff, let alone to RE-do stuff)

The storm is dying down and the house doesn't sound so much like it's going to take off. For awhile I actually thought that the front room, may come detached from the original house.

Another thing that I did today once I got internet was update my photo blog, do to the fact that I am broke and laid off I have no money to continue my .ca site so I will be working straight from my blog and facebook page. I've really neglected my photography for multiple reasons, but I'm going to try to re-creat myself and move on from the past. For more information see my photo blog.

6:45, not sure how I'm feeling about my most recent storm activity. I really must have cabin fever to have done this. During the fall I had decided that I was going to try Twitter. I went on it for a day and never went back. Today I went back and followed some people and I'm going to try to commit to going on it here and there. I'm not a big fan of it for some reason, maybe it's because I'm nosey and don't find it as interesting as facebook hahaha, even though most of the time I'm yelling at facebook because it's boring. The only reason that I like twitter is because I think it's cool to follow celebrities and pretend that I'm like a long lost friend of theirs. I actually just followed a bunch of people from the tv shows I was just talking about. I'm not sure if it makes me feel cool or creepy.

9:12  Of course I have been pinning for a couple of hours. How better do you pass the time and lose track of all reality than to pin? It's probably my favorite thing to do. Which might be alittle sad, but I LOVE how many awesome ideas I get from there, it's actually putting those awesome ideas to use that is the tricky part. With no money it can get alittle difficult. I'm pinning all these home decor photos and have no money to re-do my house. I'm going to slowly pick at it though. I'm going to clean out my basement tomorrow and I'm going to start trying to get rid of some stuff on buy-n-sell.

It's safe to say that the only thing I will be doing for the rest of the night is pinning and possibly reading, before bed. Both of which I have talked about so I think I'm going to post this almost 24hr long blog entry now. I hope that everyone in my area has survived the storm and somehow stayed warm through the power outages! I know that most of my early day was spent in bed in the flannel sheets with layers of clothes on. Poor little Miles (my special needs kitten) would cry when he got cold and I'd pick him up and he's curl under the blankies with me, tinka and mom. We all stayed in one bed to keep warm. Made me feel like a kid again!

T-Bear curled up infront of the heater after the power came back on.

Miles curled in the pillows keeping warm when the power went out.

Stay warm through the rest of the storm!
 & Stay happy!!

Am I The Only One?

I'm been thinking about some "Am I The Only One?" things lately and thought I would make a post about it. It may take a couple days to think of them all again, but here's to working on it! I've been really bored lately from being out of work, so I am trying to keep myself busy. Due to depression I haven't wanted to do anything at all, but my normal mind keeps telling myself that I HAVE to get up and do stuff or I will be right back where I was last winter. And we all know where that went for me...running back to the ex thinking that was a good idea and gaining all the weight I had lost, back. So this time I am working to get all the weight off and to keep as far away from my ex.

Am I The Only One that.... 

1. ...lies in bed planning out every possible conversation with any possible person? And that trip to the grocery store that I have to make the next day. I swear I could create a whole life in my head before I fall asleep.

2. ...dreams the most insane shit at night? I know that some people say that when they eat certain foods before bed they will dream really strange stuff. I also take a medication that has a side effect of crazy dreams...yes apparently thats a real side effect. It does make life entertaining, but sometimes I dream so vivid and crazy that sometimes I really have to think if I did it in real life or a dream. Like last night I was dreaming that I pinned something and when I went back to my boards this morning, there was no such pin. But I have dreamt anything from living in a volcano, my neighbors bought a tiger this winter and he wore a knitted sweater to keep him warm when he wandered the village, that I was in a war zone and being held hostage in a community in the woods of germany... it had a really nice bathtub though, so that was good. And the other night I woke up laughing because I had dreamt that I was at my mothers and she was in the bathroom, but I needed in there immediately! But she wouldn't let me in, so I went to the kitchen, called into the back of the cupboard and did number 2 in a bowl. Hey, when you gotta go, you gotta go. Let's just say I was glad it wasn't one of those dreams that when you go to the bathroom in your sleep you do it in your bed too.

3. ...mixes up their "r" and "l"? I mean like I used to mess up my b and d when I was little and I still do it some now. But when I say "religion" it's VERY hard for me to get it right, most of the time I say "lerigion" and people have a question mark come over their face. I know there is another word that I do it with too, but I can't think of it at the moment.

4. ...loves cucumber and vinegar?

5. ...is most productive at 1am? seriously, I could tackle the world after midnight! If aliens ever invade our little island and think they can kill us all while we are sleeping, no worries I've got it covered cause with the amount of energy I have this time of night I could take down a whole planet.

6. ...used to think one thing a few years ago and has now changed so much that she thinks the complete opposite? I used to believe that people didn't change, but now I think that that is the most depressing statement to believe. I believe people change, I know I sure as hell have. I mean, there are parts of us that might make it through life remaining the same, but through life we grow, we learn, parts of us die and new parts are created. I know that people are capable of changing for both the good and the bad, but there are always both components inside of us. It's choosing which side of us gets to live, the good or the bad.

7. ...loves bruises? This may be a totally messed up thing to like, but some people like scars, well I find bruises interesting. Not only because most of my bruises come with funny stories, but because in a way I find them kind of pretty in an ugly way. The way they change color, they usually start out a blackish purple and then start changing to a green with maybe some red in it, then it gets really ugly when it all starts trying to look like flesh again with some browns and dull reds.

8. ...never seems to have smooth, clear skin? I don't mean on my face, actually right now my face is probably the best looking part of me, which is something to say right there. But I am COVERED in scrapes and scratches all the time. Right now, it's basically because my special needs kitten has the worst balance in the world so his instinct is to latch on for dear live to anything he can sink his razor sharp claws into. Even before him I always had at least two scratches on me. My legs are a total mess. My skin is fair and any blemish leaves a mark and is visible for years. There isn't enough BioOil in the world to fade that shit.

9. ...wants to write a book? I always loved writing in high school and in my head I always told myself that one day I would write a book. I'm laid off at the moment, maybe this is the time to start? I definitely want to re-write my children's books that I wrote in high school and get a friend to illustrate them, maybe even write a couple new ones. Working with kids really inspires me to create stories for them.

10. ...hates the fact that she hates winter? I used to LOVE winter, it was my favorite season, but the past winters I spent in the city, I hated winter. I told myself it was because winter was so gross and messy in the city and that spending winter on the island was so much more beautiful and clean. So right now I have a beautiful yard filled with white, clean snow and I just want it all to go away so spring could be here. I don't want to hate winter, because it's such a beautiful season, but you can't get ANYTHING productive done. I want to garden and feel the warmth. Ain't nobody got time to shovel snow and beat on the frozen garage door until it opens and ain't nobody got the monies to pay for heat! I know I don't! So Mr.Winter, please let this weekend be your last snow storm, I hear it's going to be a big one. Sounds like a good finale to me? I hear Mrs.Spring is really missing the island right now, so be a gentleman and get the fuck out!

Hope that everyone is staying warm! and if you live somewhere that it is warm...feel free to buy me a plane ticket to your residence until things warm up around here or ... get the fuck out :)

Stay Happy!!