As I went into my first year of college I wasn't a single girl, so I didn't really care too much about impressing anyone. But after my break up at the end of my second year I told myself how fucking awesome I was and did a little "inside" make over. I told myself that I wasn't going to get any self confidence by putting myself down and thinking that I was a fat slob. So I started looking at myself differently, I thought "Well I'm in this body, might as well try to love it as best I can." So I stopped negatively telling myself that I needed to get "thin" and started to worry less about it and just love myself. In May 2011 my attitude was starting to improve and my self confidence started to grow despite the number on the scale. To be honest I don't even know what my weight was at the time, because I just wasn't ready to find out yet. So I went the whole summer working, partying, laughing, and having a crazy awesome time.
It was time to go back to college and I was a whole different Robyn then I had been at the beginning of 2011. I wasn't afraid to be myself. I accepted everything about myself, all the bad, the good, the strange and even the fucking crazy, mental, wtf parts of me. I was completely myself, robyn guptill and there was no one in the world just like me.
At the end of October 2011 I decided that it was time for a lifestyle change. I started watching what I ate, keeping track of calories I consumed, eating better things for me instead of junk and trying new foods. AND the biggest thing for me was...I stepped on the scale. I was 227-228 and I was okay with that, because my new attitude could handle it, the old robyn would have burst into tears and immediately started putting herself down and think it was the end of the world. So I started to think of ways I could change it. In the first few weeks of watching what I ate and putting good food into my body instead of junk, I lost around 13 pounds. It was just junk weight that was on my body and melted away. But then the Christmas holiday came and I lost track, but I did get an awesome workout in with, Bailey from beingbaileyj.com - check her out, her weight loss journey is amazing!
I really wasn't pushing myself to lose weight, I was just living happily, eating better and accepting who I was. OH! and another reason that I was trying to get my weight down is because my younger cousin, Jackson, is graduating and he asked me to the grand march for his prom. Him and I have been at each others throats our whole lives, so the family was surprised to hear that he wanted me to go with him. Him and his brother are the closest things I have to brothers. I love those boys. So I wanted to look damn hot for my second go at grand march, but more on that later.
It is now the end of March and I just weighed myself today. I am down to 202.2 and it feels great! The funniest thing about weight lose to me is I don't even notice it and people are always coming up to me and saying "oh my goodness you look great! have you lost weight" and I see myself everyday so I don't notice is so I always reply with something like "ahhh, yeah alittle...I guess, but not really." This person probably hasn't seen my in months, so I don't get that shock of how different I look.
Here are some photos. I really had to look around facebook, because I hate being in photos, mostly because of my weight. These before photos are from summer 2011.
I worked at SwallowTail Lighthouse for the summer. This is my lovely Island, Grand Manan. Everyone should come here atleast once in their lives.
I was probably around 230 pounds in the summer, give or take a few pounds.
I'm a photographer and currently struggling to get to graduation. I'll probably complain about this more in another post.
And drumroll...This is me just a couple nights ago
It's quite a difference when I put the photos side by side. And coming down to 202 is a big accomplishment for me. I was 16 the last time I made a weight loss change like this. But at that age I was down to 170. Hopefully someday I'll be back down there.
I'm hoping to get back into working harder to lose weight. I'm going to hop on board Bailey's 195 challenge, but maybe make it 190 or 185. I had expected to gain weight back because I was really sick for a couple weeks and could barely eat and that actually made me drop 7 pounds, down to 204, so I was expecting to have gone up, but instead I went down 2. But anyway, I really hope that there are lots of others out there fighting for their dream to get themselves healthy :) Just remember that you're all beautiful no matter what the number on the scale is. You have to learn to love yourself the way you are before you can make good changes in the best way possible!!
Have a great day!