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Friday, 22 February 2013

Playing Catch Up

Here are some things that I have been up to over the past couple of weeks. I haven't really posted a "life" post in awhile, I'll chat about this and that, here and there, but here is a couple chunk of my life in instagrams.

There was a bad storm a couple weekends ago, Nemo, I think was it's name. I went to my mothers house to brave the storm, incase the power went out and I wouldn't be stuck alone at my place with no heat and in the dark. I'm a big baby, I would have cried. Turns out the power only went out in moms part of the island and another up the island. My house had power the whole storm, but we were stuck at moms house together, with no heat or that bit me in the ass. Then the day after the storm ended, we found out that a piece of moms roof blew off, froze the pipes in the back bedroom and one burst. Talk about a major racket! I woke up to a waterfall in the kitchen. Papa and I tried our best to fix it, but he's having alot of back problems and then caught the flu and I'm just no plumber/furnace pipe fixer.
I do have storm stayed post in my previous posts of what I did durning the storm, this was the aftermath that is caused and I didn't blog about.

Then the next day, Jackson, my BioBro gave us all a scare and is super lucky that he didn't flip her car when he went off the road on a bad corner of the island. Although he can be a reckless driver, this wasn't because of him. It was raining and the roads had black ice on them, so it could have been anyone, especially on that corner and not 2 or 3 weeks before this there was another accident just a bit farther from the corner. We're all just glad he's okay!

Next was one of my gym buddies birthdays! Ashley, she turned 23 and we're all still in disbelief of our age. Coming from a small town we've known each other for years. Over our gym date and a birthday dinner we reminisces about old times. I mentioned this in a post on the 13th, my weigh in. Here are a couple photos, Ryker, her son licking frosting off a knife and Ashley blowing out her candles :) That cake was delicious! This was also the first time I got to see Ashley's house, it's such a cute home!

Speaking of houses...I finally got my piano out of my house and I was so grateful to the man that took it that I didn't even take money for it. Maybe that was alittle stupid, but that's how bad I wanted it gone! Here are the photos of my living room now that it no longer takes up half of it!

I love this little stand that I found in the basement! I was able to set out some really cute stuff in my livingroom
They aren't the greatest photos of it, but it's better than nothing and I really like how it's set up now. I love having my tv in front of the windows :)

My FAVORITE thing about the past couple weeks is that I got called into work for valentines day! I was SO happy to see my babes and kidlets. I could cry everyday that I'm not at work because I miss that so much. And don't get me started on the baby fever. I went from having a nursery of 6 kids for 8 hours a day and now I have none! I would pop out one if it were possible to make one by myself and it not cost anything to do it. Plus you can't just pop those things out over night. It would take some time to grow it...But anyway here are some photos from that day at work!

My Little Love Bug <3 thought the valentine paint might taste as good at the cookies they just had at snack

I can't explain to you how much I missed my main man! I could have cried when I walked into the
classroom and he came running up to me. We were stuck together most of the day <3 

I have really missed my Brycer Boy, he's my main photoshoot man. Loves the camera and making silly faces!

At the end of the week we all celebrated another friends birthday! It was nice to get together with a group of girls to have some pre-celebratory card games and then head to camp to meet up with everyone else. And what would a good night be without some selfies before all the hot mess came out? Here are some photos of the night we celebrated Courtney's 22nd birthday. Why I have no photos of the bday girl is beyond me.

Deeanne's a pro at caesar making, I personally hate them, but I give her props for the how they look :) 

Dee and Maddy
To top the night off, my ex's ex was at the party and after deciding he
doesn't deserve either of us and isn't worth the fight, we decided to
snap a shot of the moment. It took me awhile to remember this the
next day. 

I've been trying to get some stuff done around the house and one thing that I did get done that I had been waiting to do for a long time was a jewelry holder. I have dangly earrings and there is nothing worse than not having a place to hang them. I never would have come up with something on my own so I thank God for pinterest.

I love it, but I need to pain the bottom hanger!
Oh, here is my giant Bunner! Isn't he the cutest <3 

Last week we decided that the women in the family would start getting together more and having game night. So far it's been just the girls, but maybe we will allow the men is later. It's been a blast. The first week we did it on valentines day and Chris out did herself with treats and decorations. We had so many laughs and it was a great time. I think this week was ever better! Not only do I love the games and the girls, but I love Jennilyn's baby, Libby. She's got to be the cutest baby ever and Cammy her older daughter is such a beauty and talk about hysterical! She's really started to come out of her shell! I think she was set on repeat last night.

Look at those eyes! isn't she just gorgeous! She makes me want to have a baby of my own, or kidnap her!

We played rumoli last night and it was such a good time. 

Next thrusday is my epicure party, so game night will be on wednesday at Julie's this time. And then we will all get together again on thursday for some yummy dips :) I will try to remember to get some photos of both events!

That's basically the past two.five weeks of my life.

Stay Happy!!

Tuesday, 19 February 2013

Pride and...Well Just Pride

So I work my best at night. I get all my ideas at night, I plan everything at night, I'm productive and motivated at night. I may be a vampire or possibly just an owl in human form, that's alittle less scary - although edward cullen's sparking body definitely made vampires more gay and less scary. I'm rambling, this is because I am really awesome by night, but by day...well I suck. Around midnight tonight I decided that I am no longer going to depress about not having a job and there not being alot of work here on the island. I'm taking action and making something for myself. I have a couple plans that I would like to start putting to the test, one I'm not putting out there for everyone just yet, because I don't want to jinx it or get myself excited before it's more than just an idea. BUT my photo studio isn't just an idea, it's my dream and it will happen, I just hadn't planned the "when" yet. Well when is right now, there is no time like the present and really what else do I have to do? I've been moping around pinning and pouting, but no more. I say this while I'm all hopped up on life and sleepy fumes, but I'm going to put my night energy to good use, if night is when I am most productive, than screw daytime hours, I will do all my photography business stuff at night!

I started on my new logo around 12am and by 1:04 I was finished. Here it is! 

Let me know what you think of the new name and the logo! I never much cared for "robyn guptill photography," it seemed so plain and unoriginal. I like this much better and that little robin was a pain in the ass, but she's done and I really like her. I pretty much am in love with this logo right now. I know it's just because I made it and that's when pride gets dangerous because you grow an attachment to your work. So that's why I want some feedback. What do you like and not like about the logo? My main concern is the "photos" font. I may end up changing that. I wasn't overly fond of the "red robyn" font until I got the little robin on it and decided that the font made it look like she was sitting on little branch letters. But please, I won't get offended by constructive criticism, it is welcomed! I am pretty proud of the creation, the more I look at the bottom font the less I like it so I may fiddle around with that. But it's a start and maybe I will just keep it. I have until I re-vamp my business plan to decide. I am definitely keeping the name and the top part of the logo. 

Stay Happy! I'm off to try and get some sleep. 

What A Mess

Hold on people, this is going to be a long, messy post.

My life has been a mess for a couple months now. I feel like everything is basically crumbling down around my feet. I'm pretty good at acting like everything's okay, or maybe I'm just really good at convincing myself that everything is or will be okay. Truth is, I've actually felt okay lately, probably because I've been ignoring everything around me and choose to pretend that life is good, but I haven't felt depressed and if ignoring life is keeping me from not caring about life, then I'll take it.

I really want to make clear that this post isn't me complaining or whining. I have a big insecurity that people are always getting annoyed by me or think that I am complaining or feeling bad for myself. I'm not, in fact I'm quite proud of myself for keeping what I have left, together. I haven't been feeling all that way physically and I've been sleeping alot during the day anyway, my insomnia has been acting up at night and I've just been catching naps when I get actually dose off. But lately I've wanted to sleep, my dreams have been vivid and seem a whole lot better than life right now. That's no way to live, so I'm awake and trying to get my shit together. I've got so much stuff I should be doing but have no motivation, but I'm not a big fan of giving up, I'm just a good procrastinator so I put trying off sometimes.

Another really awful thing that's been bothering me lately is my breakup. It's been what almost two months now. Something that people should know about me is that I grieve and deal with things differently or I guess the best way to describe it is in this photo. Only I don't deal like the girl does, I'm alot like the guy side. Maybe it's because my father had a big influence on me and trying not to show weakness plays a big part. The thing about how my relationship ended has alot to do with it too. He didn't leave me, I left him because he hurt me and let me down big time. I know that I don't deserve that at all, but I have this thing where I continuously blame myself for everything or that I feel I'm responsible for a good chunk of shit that happens. I don't think that's a bad thing about me, I'm glad that I can take responsibility for my actions, but part of me knows I did everything I could to make our relationship work and another part of me still feels like I could have done more, tried harder or been better. I am not a saint, I wasn't the perfect girlfriend, I have many of my own issues, but point was I tried, I put in the effort to be better and felt like he wasn't doing any of that. I loved him, still do or I guess I loved who he was at the beginning of our second time around. I definitely miss that guy, not the drunk, but who he really is. Truth is I was embarrassed by alot of things that he did and still am, but I've realized that I made him feel that way with some of my bad decisions. I'm not perfect, far from it actually. Point is even though I think he's an ass/douche/idiot/insert any rude name here, I've really been missing him. I've really been feeling cheated out of everything I or "we" had planned for in 2013. I feel like I should have been more important than alcohol, I understand addictions but they don't get better on their own and the only person that can change it is the addict. It's all up to them, so it's still a slap in the face, when he said "I have a problem, I doesn't just go away" you're right it doesn't but you're the only one that has the power to change it and I know he could have. I was selfish once and left him for what I wanted, so like I said I'm not perfect. I believe life is about balance, so maybe our second run was for me to learn so of the feelings I made him feel, learn from my own mistakes by having them thrown back at me. I just miss him and our plans and the little things and having someone always there. I know I'm better off and I will not run back to him ever again, this is all just a test to build up strength to stay away.

I do not want a relationship again for awhile. I'm not ready for that at all. Which brings me to my next problem. Being single and out of work, makes for too much time on my hands. I've been going out too much and need to tone it back a bit. A couple of years ago I allowed myself a year to party, to get it out of my system so I could just get serious about things. Well it worked while I was in a relationship, but now that I'm back to being alone, going out has been fun. Truth is though that I'm not as big of a fan of it as I used to be. The next day I feel stupid and don't care half as much for the "good stories" anymore. So I'm going to stop before I really make some bad choices and get myself into a big mess. I like being sober and I like the life I was living, being single and out of work just got me down and partying seemed to make light of the situation. Another way to ignore life, but really it just cause more problems in the end. I'm not myself, because I make another personna in order to deal with life.

Which brings me to my last issue, which really ties in to the past paragraph. I constantly feel a war with myself. I feel like I have two totally different sides of myself that are always arguing about what I should do, how I should feel, how I should fix things and so much more. I mentioned before that I believe life is all about balance, this is just another thing that makes me believe. Whether it's religion or whatever else you believe in there is always a balance. You can't have good without bad, light without dark, positive without negative. I see my "two halves" as balance. Kinda like a good angel me on one should and a devil me on the other. Some people could find this really funny when I describe them as "robin" and "bluejay" not that many people read this, but for those who don't know me I was given the nickname bluejay (for the obvious, my name is robyn, which is a bird, so my nickname was just another bird) But I consider Robin my sensible, realistic, tame, good side and Bluejay as my wild, stupid, bad half. Not just because I acquired the name while I was partying a couple year ago, but because it's really become alot more than that for me. I always feel like a nut-job talking about it, but it's balance, some people choose to hide the bad things that they do, but everyone does wrong. I just choose to separate myself as a balancing act of two common birds. I can be two totally different people when I want to be, one does alot more good than the other, while the other one has alot more fun and doesn't mean to do so much harm. I had the two birds tattooed on me, most people thought it was funny because it's just my name and a nickname, but to me it's more than that. It's me as a whole. My good and the bad and I can't live as just one of them. Crazy or not I'm me and I understand myself most of the time even if i'm arguing with myself. I've been fighting with myself about what to do with my life, work, social, private. I'm just lost and trying to get by, hoping that things will eventually get put back together. It'll just take time I guess, everything takes time.

I let so much get to me, you might not see it from the outside, but inside I'm a complete and utter mess of emotions and thoughts. I stress over so much stuff and over think everything. I've always just wanted to be someone that just cared less about problems, but I suck as caring less. I care about everything, which means I stress about everything.

On a high note! I've been pinning so much because really that's all I do when I have time. Other than be really really super productive... Check out these screen captions taken only a couple days from each other. All my pinning my paying off in followers haha

And only a week or so before this photo I was pumped for 500!

I also find this sad that this is one of my greater accomplishments of the past week... Thanks for following though :)

Stay Happy!!

Monday, 18 February 2013

Hunter Boot GiveAway!

I was tweeting this morning a friend had posted about a giveaway, I've got alittle too much time on my hands so I've been entering giveaways, because being laid off makes it hard to actually buy things. I can't believe I have never heard of these boots before! And if I don't a pair I will be buying one when I have the funds, or asking for a pair for my birthday!

I love the black or the red. I just don't know how bold I am to wear bright red boots. The more I look at them I think the light purple is calling to me. Either way, this is a great giveaway and even if you don't like rubber boots, check out all these girls and their blogs :) Start HERE

Favorite part about these boots is the adjustment for calf size. I hate having large calves!

Stay Happy!!

Wednesday, 13 February 2013

First Weigh In Wednesday!

I was weighing myself on Sunday's, but I thought I would hope on board with gym buddy/friend BaileyJ of BeingBaileyJ and do it on "Weigh In Wednesdays" just cause it sounds better. So it's been alittle over a week since I weighed myself. That is kind of a fib, because I try not to weigh myself on in between days, but I can be alittle obsessive and jump on the scale and peak at my weight. I just don't let that number bother me. I think it was sunday that I jumped on the scale - because that's when I would have if I wasn't transitioning weigh in days, anyway I had gained a couple pounds and I knew it was all weight from being snowed in so I told myself not to worry and that I could work it off. When I started trying to lose weight a couple weeks ago I was 227.9 or something, on sunday I was 229.6 and today (wednesday I jumped on the scale and was 224.0! so I have lost 5.6 pounds since sunday... BUT I'm not going to count that cheat weigh in, so I am counting it as losing from the 227.9 which means I've lost a 3.9 pounds. Not too shabby, I'm still proud.
I haven't had much of an appetite these past couple of weekdays. I have been eating but I've been aware of what I am eating. I think the biggest difference in the past couple of days has been my sleeping. I have been really off schedule and sleeping until 1 or 2 in the afternoon! I haven't done this since highschool. I love to sleep, I'm sure why, but I seriously LOVE sleeping. I love feeling cozy and warm, I love dreaming when it's not nightmares. Last night I had nightmares that whole night, so I slept past my workout date and now I'll have to go to emerg tomorrow morning instead. I have also had a couple other motivations to feel good about myself and be aware of what I'm consuming and make sure that I'm physical throughout the day. I have missed two workouts, but sleeping was nice and I worked up a little sweat cleaning my basement and lunging all the jars up out of it. Today I'm doing more cleaning and I'm going to make sure I fit in some crunches and other things I can do at home.

Last night Bailey, Ashley, her family and Parents and I went out to celebrate her 23rd birthday over supper! I don't think I know a more loving and hilarious family. I've always adored them, so it was a real treat for me to be included in the festivities. We all chatted and laughed over our meal while watching Ashley's little boy Ryker go elbows deep in coleslaw. I had two pieces of fish with rice, but I forgot to order panfried and not deep, but oh well it was tasty anyway. We all went back to Ashley and Pat's after supper for some Igloo cake that Lianne (Ashley's mom) had made and what a great cake it was! I was pretty full after supper so I only allowed myself a small slice and was proud that I didn't go back for seconds after my stomach had settled. Another thing I did without even noticing until I went to bed and thought about it was when I came home and did house work at 10pm I had worked up alittle appetite, I hate eating late at night, but I've been staying up for late that really 10pm was just an afternoon snack. So I crackled open my bag of mini rice cakes and I set it down after probably 15 of them and GAVE the rest to my mom... I may be getting ill, I'm not sure. But I almost always eat the whole bag and I hardly EVER share my favorite snacks haha that's an only child thing.

I'm pretty proud of myself at this moment and all these things make me want to keep trying harder.

Stay Happy People!

ps. I saw this photo and it basically is the point of my blog most of the time.

Saturday, 9 February 2013

Storm Stayed & Cabin Fever

If anyone reads this blog that doesn't live in my area, we are in for a real doozy of a storm, yes I just said doozy because I am too tired to think of another describing word. I thought about sitting out the storm at my own house, but I'm too much of a baby if the power went out, who wants to be alone with no power? I would also be really bored all alone with no power. Instead, I came down to my mothers and hopefully won't be stuck here forever.
10:00pm-ish The storm has started and although I don't know how much snowing it's doing, it's blowing quite "fierce" out there. I put fierce in quotations because my first snow storm activity, which with the amount of cackling some could say that cabin fever has already set in...was looking up the hilarious photos of Beyonce during her super bowl performance. I mean we all love Beyonce, but I think I love her just alittle bit more after seeing these photos. She brightened my snowy night.

Here are some of my favorites and then the link where you can see more!

This by far is my favorite and I literally can't look at it without laughing, I'm not sure if its the
flared nostrils or the fact she's looking a bit granny-ish, but the hair tops it all off and I just
can't hold back the laughter.
This just looks like a really bad facebook profile pic. 
Raising the roof...and some suspicions of a bad smell.  
She can still smell it...
Something was alittle painful...maybe the smell came with some burning? 
This just scared me at first and I almost thought it was fake, until I found all the other
photos and figured it's just another great capture. My favorite thing about this picture,
beside the fact that her tiny train in the back resembles cobwebs between her legs, is that
my mother tried to re-create this moment. I'm not sure who looked funnier or worse,
Momma Lenny or Beyonce. Mom said "Beyonce wins, even though I have the moves
down I just can't make the face." That's not a bad thing mom, because if you could
and woke me up in the night making that face, I may run away forever.

During my time stuck inside at this time of day, being 2:11am (cause if there wasn't a storm I would obviously be out and about...) but still this is a storm stayed activity of catching up on tv shows that I used to watch and currently keep up with. I'm almost caught up with 90210, I watched this weeks Grey's and I started to catch up on New Girl, but I'm still at the end of season one, so I have quite a bit to catch up on there, but they are only 20 mins, so I may accomplish all of that tomorrow during the storm.

I did a smidgin of organizing in my itunes library and downloaded the rest of Ben Howard that I was missing. I think I will work on a couple more blog posts tomorrow and do some actual productive stuff, like organize my life again and maybe do up a resume, because being laid-off really scares the crap out of me, especially after I just bought a freaking house...oh life, why must you torture me? I also need to get my ass in gear and work on some photo shit, when I'm depressed I lose all inspiration for photography and lately I've been in the hole a bit inside myself, so time to climb out of it and dust myself off.

Night, will continue this post tomorrow!

It's almost 5pm and we've just had some steady power for the first time today. Basically all I have done today is hide in bed, the only warm place since we have electric heat and no power, and read. The cold has made me so sleepy, but I am finally sitting up in the livingroom with some internet and warmth.

I planned to have all these really fun things that I did durning the storm, but really I didn't do anything my shiver and hope for some warmth. I really did enjoy getting through some chapters in my book that I NEED to finish. Since I haven't been in the nursery I haven't had much reason to read, I've been doing other things, but I had nothing to do but sleep or read today. I'm almost finished it and might just read for kicks and giggles tonight before going to sleep.

The book I am currently reading is "Beautiful Days" a Bright Young Things Novel by Anna Godbersen. She is one of my favorite authors, maybe my actually favorite. I love all her books. I get hooked on them, The first series I read is the second photo. I highly recommend them. They are about New York in the early 1900's and I wish I had been alive durning that generation, and rich of course.

The photos are in order that the books go and after looking at the covers of "The Luxe" series it makes me want to go back and re-read them. Maybe when I get a couple of my new books read I will go back to that series. I have to be honest and say that I was much more involved with The Luxe series than the Bright Young Things. I love both series, but I fell in love with The Luxe books and there seemed to be so much scandal in the that series.

Probably my favorite series I've read
This is Anna, she looks so young and she's
full of talent! 

Since the power has been on, I've been watching the Ghost Adventures marathon. My ex got me into the show and at first I thought it was really stupid. I mean I really love ghost shows, whether they are real or faked, but at first I thought that Zak was alittle over dramatic and it made things seemed really stressed and faked. But I have warmed up to him and I have seen almost every episode and really enjoy the show. There are a handful of episodes that creep me out, but there a couple of handfuls that I find really interesting, the technology that they use and experiments. I'm very open to the thought of the "paranormal" I guess you could call me a believer. But I believe in alot of things and maybe all the theories are connected. If you like the ghost shows/movies and haven't ever watch ghost adventures, I recommend it. I'm not saying you'll like it and there are some episodes that are flops in my opinion, but there are some really good ones too.

My absolute favorite paranormal show is Destination Truth, its been a really long time since there were new episodes and I think it cost a lot to keep the show going because it's a world wide investigation team and they traveled everywhere. But all of there past seasons and shows are awesome. Not all, but it's by far the my top rated ghost show, they don't just do ghosts either, they investigate all sorts of legends and myths, searching for the truth. And the host, Josh Gates is hilarious and I obviously fell in love with him. I don't know what I like more about the show, him making fun of his crew and the locals for all the places they visit, or all the cool adventures that they go on to find stuff. I really miss this show! It actually makes me sad, I may watch them all again. (I say I've going to read these books again and watch these shows over, but really I don't have time to continue with current stuff, let alone to RE-do stuff)

The storm is dying down and the house doesn't sound so much like it's going to take off. For awhile I actually thought that the front room, may come detached from the original house.

Another thing that I did today once I got internet was update my photo blog, do to the fact that I am broke and laid off I have no money to continue my .ca site so I will be working straight from my blog and facebook page. I've really neglected my photography for multiple reasons, but I'm going to try to re-creat myself and move on from the past. For more information see my photo blog.

6:45, not sure how I'm feeling about my most recent storm activity. I really must have cabin fever to have done this. During the fall I had decided that I was going to try Twitter. I went on it for a day and never went back. Today I went back and followed some people and I'm going to try to commit to going on it here and there. I'm not a big fan of it for some reason, maybe it's because I'm nosey and don't find it as interesting as facebook hahaha, even though most of the time I'm yelling at facebook because it's boring. The only reason that I like twitter is because I think it's cool to follow celebrities and pretend that I'm like a long lost friend of theirs. I actually just followed a bunch of people from the tv shows I was just talking about. I'm not sure if it makes me feel cool or creepy.

9:12  Of course I have been pinning for a couple of hours. How better do you pass the time and lose track of all reality than to pin? It's probably my favorite thing to do. Which might be alittle sad, but I LOVE how many awesome ideas I get from there, it's actually putting those awesome ideas to use that is the tricky part. With no money it can get alittle difficult. I'm pinning all these home decor photos and have no money to re-do my house. I'm going to slowly pick at it though. I'm going to clean out my basement tomorrow and I'm going to start trying to get rid of some stuff on buy-n-sell.

It's safe to say that the only thing I will be doing for the rest of the night is pinning and possibly reading, before bed. Both of which I have talked about so I think I'm going to post this almost 24hr long blog entry now. I hope that everyone in my area has survived the storm and somehow stayed warm through the power outages! I know that most of my early day was spent in bed in the flannel sheets with layers of clothes on. Poor little Miles (my special needs kitten) would cry when he got cold and I'd pick him up and he's curl under the blankies with me, tinka and mom. We all stayed in one bed to keep warm. Made me feel like a kid again!

T-Bear curled up infront of the heater after the power came back on.

Miles curled in the pillows keeping warm when the power went out.

Stay warm through the rest of the storm!
 & Stay happy!!

Thursday, 7 February 2013

Am I The Only One?

I'm been thinking about some "Am I The Only One?" things lately and thought I would make a post about it. It may take a couple days to think of them all again, but here's to working on it! I've been really bored lately from being out of work, so I am trying to keep myself busy. Due to depression I haven't wanted to do anything at all, but my normal mind keeps telling myself that I HAVE to get up and do stuff or I will be right back where I was last winter. And we all know where that went for me...running back to the ex thinking that was a good idea and gaining all the weight I had lost, back. So this time I am working to get all the weight off and to keep as far away from my ex.

Am I The Only One that.... 

1. ...lies in bed planning out every possible conversation with any possible person? And that trip to the grocery store that I have to make the next day. I swear I could create a whole life in my head before I fall asleep.

2. ...dreams the most insane shit at night? I know that some people say that when they eat certain foods before bed they will dream really strange stuff. I also take a medication that has a side effect of crazy dreams...yes apparently thats a real side effect. It does make life entertaining, but sometimes I dream so vivid and crazy that sometimes I really have to think if I did it in real life or a dream. Like last night I was dreaming that I pinned something and when I went back to my boards this morning, there was no such pin. But I have dreamt anything from living in a volcano, my neighbors bought a tiger this winter and he wore a knitted sweater to keep him warm when he wandered the village, that I was in a war zone and being held hostage in a community in the woods of germany... it had a really nice bathtub though, so that was good. And the other night I woke up laughing because I had dreamt that I was at my mothers and she was in the bathroom, but I needed in there immediately! But she wouldn't let me in, so I went to the kitchen, called into the back of the cupboard and did number 2 in a bowl. Hey, when you gotta go, you gotta go. Let's just say I was glad it wasn't one of those dreams that when you go to the bathroom in your sleep you do it in your bed too.

3. ...mixes up their "r" and "l"? I mean like I used to mess up my b and d when I was little and I still do it some now. But when I say "religion" it's VERY hard for me to get it right, most of the time I say "lerigion" and people have a question mark come over their face. I know there is another word that I do it with too, but I can't think of it at the moment.

4. ...loves cucumber and vinegar?

5. most productive at 1am? seriously, I could tackle the world after midnight! If aliens ever invade our little island and think they can kill us all while we are sleeping, no worries I've got it covered cause with the amount of energy I have this time of night I could take down a whole planet.

6. ...used to think one thing a few years ago and has now changed so much that she thinks the complete opposite? I used to believe that people didn't change, but now I think that that is the most depressing statement to believe. I believe people change, I know I sure as hell have. I mean, there are parts of us that might make it through life remaining the same, but through life we grow, we learn, parts of us die and new parts are created. I know that people are capable of changing for both the good and the bad, but there are always both components inside of us. It's choosing which side of us gets to live, the good or the bad.

7. ...loves bruises? This may be a totally messed up thing to like, but some people like scars, well I find bruises interesting. Not only because most of my bruises come with funny stories, but because in a way I find them kind of pretty in an ugly way. The way they change color, they usually start out a blackish purple and then start changing to a green with maybe some red in it, then it gets really ugly when it all starts trying to look like flesh again with some browns and dull reds.

8. ...never seems to have smooth, clear skin? I don't mean on my face, actually right now my face is probably the best looking part of me, which is something to say right there. But I am COVERED in scrapes and scratches all the time. Right now, it's basically because my special needs kitten has the worst balance in the world so his instinct is to latch on for dear live to anything he can sink his razor sharp claws into. Even before him I always had at least two scratches on me. My legs are a total mess. My skin is fair and any blemish leaves a mark and is visible for years. There isn't enough BioOil in the world to fade that shit.

9. ...wants to write a book? I always loved writing in high school and in my head I always told myself that one day I would write a book. I'm laid off at the moment, maybe this is the time to start? I definitely want to re-write my children's books that I wrote in high school and get a friend to illustrate them, maybe even write a couple new ones. Working with kids really inspires me to create stories for them.

10. ...hates the fact that she hates winter? I used to LOVE winter, it was my favorite season, but the past winters I spent in the city, I hated winter. I told myself it was because winter was so gross and messy in the city and that spending winter on the island was so much more beautiful and clean. So right now I have a beautiful yard filled with white, clean snow and I just want it all to go away so spring could be here. I don't want to hate winter, because it's such a beautiful season, but you can't get ANYTHING productive done. I want to garden and feel the warmth. Ain't nobody got time to shovel snow and beat on the frozen garage door until it opens and ain't nobody got the monies to pay for heat! I know I don't! So Mr.Winter, please let this weekend be your last snow storm, I hear it's going to be a big one. Sounds like a good finale to me? I hear Mrs.Spring is really missing the island right now, so be a gentleman and get the fuck out!

Hope that everyone is staying warm! and if you live somewhere that it is warm...feel free to buy me a plane ticket to your residence until things warm up around here or ... get the fuck out :)

Stay Happy!!