Pride and...Well Just Pride

So I work my best at night. I get all my ideas at night, I plan everything at night, I'm productive and motivated at night. I may be a vampire or possibly just an owl in human form, that's alittle less scary - although edward cullen's sparking body definitely made vampires more gay and less scary. I'm rambling, this is because I am really awesome by night, but by day...well I suck. Around midnight tonight I decided that I am no longer going to depress about not having a job and there not being alot of work here on the island. I'm taking action and making something for myself. I have a couple plans that I would like to start putting to the test, one I'm not putting out there for everyone just yet, because I don't want to jinx it or get myself excited before it's more than just an idea. BUT my photo studio isn't just an idea, it's my dream and it will happen, I just hadn't planned the "when" yet. Well when is right now, there is no time like the present and really what else do I have to do? I've been moping around pinning and pouting, but no more. I say this while I'm all hopped up on life and sleepy fumes, but I'm going to put my night energy to good use, if night is when I am most productive, than screw daytime hours, I will do all my photography business stuff at night!

I started on my new logo around 12am and by 1:04 I was finished. Here it is! 

Let me know what you think of the new name and the logo! I never much cared for "robyn guptill photography," it seemed so plain and unoriginal. I like this much better and that little robin was a pain in the ass, but she's done and I really like her. I pretty much am in love with this logo right now. I know it's just because I made it and that's when pride gets dangerous because you grow an attachment to your work. So that's why I want some feedback. What do you like and not like about the logo? My main concern is the "photos" font. I may end up changing that. I wasn't overly fond of the "red robyn" font until I got the little robin on it and decided that the font made it look like she was sitting on little branch letters. But please, I won't get offended by constructive criticism, it is welcomed! I am pretty proud of the creation, the more I look at the bottom font the less I like it so I may fiddle around with that. But it's a start and maybe I will just keep it. I have until I re-vamp my business plan to decide. I am definitely keeping the name and the top part of the logo. 

Stay Happy! I'm off to try and get some sleep. 

First Weigh In Wednesday!

I was weighing myself on Sunday's, but I thought I would hope on board with gym buddy/friend BaileyJ of BeingBaileyJ and do it on "Weigh In Wednesdays" just cause it sounds better. So it's been alittle over a week since I weighed myself. That is kind of a fib, because I try not to weigh myself on in between days, but I can be alittle obsessive and jump on the scale and peak at my weight. I just don't let that number bother me. I think it was sunday that I jumped on the scale - because that's when I would have if I wasn't transitioning weigh in days, anyway I had gained a couple pounds and I knew it was all weight from being snowed in so I told myself not to worry and that I could work it off. When I started trying to lose weight a couple weeks ago I was 227.9 or something, on sunday I was 229.6 and today (wednesday I jumped on the scale and was 224.0! so I have lost 5.6 pounds since sunday... BUT I'm not going to count that cheat weigh in, so I am counting it as losing from the 227.9 which means I've lost a 3.9 pounds. Not too shabby, I'm still proud.
I haven't had much of an appetite these past couple of weekdays. I have been eating but I've been aware of what I am eating. I think the biggest difference in the past couple of days has been my sleeping. I have been really off schedule and sleeping until 1 or 2 in the afternoon! I haven't done this since highschool. I love to sleep, I'm sure why, but I seriously LOVE sleeping. I love feeling cozy and warm, I love dreaming when it's not nightmares. Last night I had nightmares that whole night, so I slept past my workout date and now I'll have to go to emerg tomorrow morning instead. I have also had a couple other motivations to feel good about myself and be aware of what I'm consuming and make sure that I'm physical throughout the day. I have missed two workouts, but sleeping was nice and I worked up a little sweat cleaning my basement and lunging all the jars up out of it. Today I'm doing more cleaning and I'm going to make sure I fit in some crunches and other things I can do at home.

Last night Bailey, Ashley, her family and Parents and I went out to celebrate her 23rd birthday over supper! I don't think I know a more loving and hilarious family. I've always adored them, so it was a real treat for me to be included in the festivities. We all chatted and laughed over our meal while watching Ashley's little boy Ryker go elbows deep in coleslaw. I had two pieces of fish with rice, but I forgot to order panfried and not deep, but oh well it was tasty anyway. We all went back to Ashley and Pat's after supper for some Igloo cake that Lianne (Ashley's mom) had made and what a great cake it was! I was pretty full after supper so I only allowed myself a small slice and was proud that I didn't go back for seconds after my stomach had settled. Another thing I did without even noticing until I went to bed and thought about it was when I came home and did house work at 10pm I had worked up alittle appetite, I hate eating late at night, but I've been staying up for late that really 10pm was just an afternoon snack. So I crackled open my bag of mini rice cakes and I set it down after probably 15 of them and GAVE the rest to my mom... I may be getting ill, I'm not sure. But I almost always eat the whole bag and I hardly EVER share my favorite snacks haha that's an only child thing.

I'm pretty proud of myself at this moment and all these things make me want to keep trying harder.

Stay Happy People!

ps. I saw this photo and it basically is the point of my blog most of the time.

There Are Good Days and Bad Days

So I'm not getting as much done and I wanted to be. That doesn't surprise me though, I'm a huge procrastinator, but lately I've only been "abit" of a procrastinator. So improvement is improvement. Plus I caught a cold from my girl at work and I've been a bit hard to motivate through the sneezing and coughing.

This isn't about work or house stuff, this is a Weight Loss Adventure post. A quick one. Because I've been sick and the babies at work aren't feeling that great, I missed today's workout and yesterday I skipped the gym, but walked for over an hour on a field trip with the kids. It wasn't an extensive work out like I've been pushing myself to do, but hey I got outdoors and was active, so I'm still giving myself points. PLUS it was way more fun than the gym. And I'm not counting today as a total fail, because I did eat mostly good things and got some exercise in before making this post, just some stuff I could do in my room, and I went until I got coughing, it's the best I could do. The point there is I'm still trying and pushing myself through this cold. Even if it's not the workout I want to get. Effort counts and I didn't just give in completely.

OH!! and yesterday morning when I weighed myself. I was down 6 pounds from the last time I was weighed at the beginning of december. Still up from when I lost a bunch of weight last winter, but I WILL lose it again. Anyway, I was at 227.9 yesterday morning and this morning I didn't plan to check cause it was just a day, but I was 226.4! I won't be checking again until next week, but I did it for curiosity sake.

Tomorrow I want to get in the gym despite my cold. Even for just a half hour and do some low key stuff. I won't be able to make the gym on Friday, because the memorial is Friday night and it's going to be an extremely hard weekend that I am just not looking forward to. So I want to get atleast one more work out in this week before I get off for my long sad weekend.

I also need to get my wii-fit out and start using that, even as just a tracker rather than the games, although I need to work on my balance. I used to be pretty good, but lately it's been way off. And I need to take my before photos...which I am not looking forward to and will not be posting until I lose enough weight to feel that it's not so embarrassing to post!

But no more being embarrassed about my weight. I am NOT embarrassed that I am trying to change it and I've had my struggles but this time I'm going to win the battle against unhealthy living! :) Corny but true.

Here are some photos!

Yesterday's meal. I've been eating so many veggies/salads and I'm so
proud of myself because I'm a fruit kinda of girl. I like things sweet! I
only ended up eating 2, maybe three bites of steak because I'm not used
to an oven that cooks so fast and it got alittle dry, so Tinka ended up with
quite the supper. She had no complaints lol

Larissa, Dar and I took some of the kids for a walk around the campground and down through the boardwalk.
We walked for over an hour and it was quite the adventure. Bug was the youngest and he did quite well for
himself. Until the end when him and 2 other boys fell in a very cold puddle. 

My LoveBug is growing up so fast, off the boards and running through
the woods with the big boys! 

Warrin was falling alittle behind. He'd rather hold my hand than risk falling (I say that, but really he spent
more time on his bum than his feet) but when he held my hand he felt alittle better cause he did alot more
sliding on purpose because he knew I had a good grip on him. He's been my right hand man the past couple
of days. What a sweetheart!

Thats all for tonight folks! I guess it was half about work and half about weight, but how can you blame me for talking about these cute little guys! My job and my work kids are my life these days :)

Stay Happy!

Covered In Tats

So during my insomnia I decided that I would do some pin-cleaning and picked my Tattoo's and Piercings board, because although at one point I thought I would like to have all kinds of tattoos, and I will probably get many more than the 2 that I have, I thought that almost 200 pins was alittle un-realistic. Really? There can't be close to 200 tattoos that I want. Most of them were just quotes that I liked and if I got every quote that I like tattooed on my body, I would probably have more words than a dictionary.
I'm glad that I am one of those people that thinks for atleast 6-12 months about a tattoo before getting it. My first was really only a couple of months and although I love it, I still kinda question it sometimes, but it's there for good, so might as well love it. I put it there for a reason and it reminds me everyday - or everyday that I remember that it's there because it's on my back and I forget about it sometimes. And I can't say that the only reason I'm not littered in tats is because I'm a sensible young lady, but more that I'm a broke young lady and have to say up to pay for it, so I might as well make sure I want it.
Most of my tattoo's that I have picked out are rewards for WHEN (yes when cause eventually it's gonna happen and hopefully soon) I lose weight, because lets me honest most of the ones I want are on parts of my body that just aren't the "smooth"est surface right now.
As I was going through and deleting about 100 of them, they kept getting worse and worse. Like seriously Robyn? This tattoo right here inspired you somehow or interested you at one point? Not that it isn't great art or that it's an awful tattoo and whoever got it should be ashamed, but because it isn't me at all! I used to have a very strict thought on tattoo's, I hated anything that didn't make sense to me, I didn't like colored tattoos and most of the time I only liked words because I questioned why people got big back tattoo's and sleeves. But after leaving my rock of a home and going to art school my mind changed. A friend of mine was getting a sleeve and she didn't really care what she got, she just wanted the tattoo artist to create something. Me being someone who will only get a tattoo that has some sort of meaning to her thought this was an out landish idea and couldn't wrap her mind around it. I asked her why she wasn't getting something that had meaning to her and she said "Think of it as if you are going into an art gallery and one of your favorite artist has pieces hanging there for sale. You spend 200.00 on a piece of that art to hang on your wall at home. One of my favorite artists just happens to do originals and right on my body and I can carry it where-ever I go." This completely changed my way of thinking about tattoos, especially because I have such an appreciation for art. But because I was thinking of tattoos as something for only me and no one else, I hadn't thought of the artist themselves and that they like to create pieces of art on a canvas made of skin. So now I am much more open to more artistic tattoos and not just something that has a deep sense of meaning to me.

My tattoo's that I do have really don't appeal to most people, my second one does because it is cute, but has meaning to me. And just to address the "tattoos are addictive" saying, I swear by it. I love the feeling of getting a tattoo and after I my second was finished I remember sitting there trying to think of something else that I could get done right after, just because I didn't want him to stop.

#1 at the very top of my back - something I came up with myself during
a time when I was a bit mad at the world or the people on it. This one
I kinda question sometimes and think maybe I should have thought
about it some more before getting it, but it was my first and who cares
really? 

#2 on my left wrist 

This was the original that I had found online, I photoshopped
my own touches into it and liked it so much more when than this one. 

Here are some of the ones that I would like to get in the future

I would really love these three tattooed, I lack amounts
of some of them and have too much of others. All three
compounds have an impact on my life.

this is an example. I will definitely be tattooing Tinka
and Miles paw pints on me. If I did it for every pet I
would be covered, but I still think about it. Tinka
has been my bestest friend through everything and I
pretty much consider her my first child. As for Miles
he has already begun to teach my patience, and his
special needs not only brought me understanding, but
a smile when I need it most. 

A friend and I have talked about getting matching tattoos
and the Lion King as always been our movie, this tattoo
has always been a favorite, so I am definitely bringing it
up to her tomorrow. 

one of my reward tattoo ideas, when I
have a flat back I would love to get this.

Like I said before I am not one for color tattoos or sleeves, but when I saw this I
stopped breathing for a second. Not sure if it's a real tattoo or photoshopped, but I
love it all the same and would love to have it some day if I ever get a sleeve, if not
the one below I also adore.

Stay Happy :)

-robyn

Before the New Year

Sitting here today, during this rotten storm, I was thinking "wow, this year has been a complete waste!" but that is so not true, so many great things happened, but just as many bad things happened, so it makes me feel like they cancel out, but really the good things were really good. I have a wicked awesome job, wouldn't change it for the world. I bought a house, a freaking house and although it over whelms me most of the time, I really do love my house. So now that I have to go back to my house, alone, I'm really going to have the spare time to do what I want to it. I need to stop being so lazy and afraid of doing things alone.

I'm a big pinner, I LOVE Pinterest, I waste too much time pinning and not trying the things I find. So my goal - not a new years resolution, this isn't the new year yet that is why I wanted to get this post out before the new year - is to make to do lists for each month of 2013 of atleast 30 things I want to do, and accomplish atleast 20 of them! These are small little to dos, I will also have bigger things that I won't be able to finish in a month, but need to remember to continually work on them. 

First off here are a couple things that I need to continually work on through the new year. 

1. Cleaning off my mac and archiving my photos 

I really want to start a wisdom book and fill it with life lessons
that I have learn,  for quotes and any other bit  of meaningful
knowledge I think suits my life and morals.

2. Documenting for work and for personal 

3. My professional work portfilio 

4. My "Wisdom Book" 

5. Start my physical "House Book" with little things that need to be fixed or replaced in my house, decor ideas, bigger reno projects, and more. 

6. Better blogging, on here and my photo blog 

7. Working on my business! my website, business plan and office. I've really neglected this lately. 

8. Saving money and budgeting

9. My organizer
10. And compile a list of recipes or make it yourself item, (laundry soap, deodorant, etc) 

Those are just things that I can think of off the top of my head. I'm actually going to have to print on this list so that I can actually remember. I put so many things in the back closet of my head so much. And I need to make some of this stuff real physical beings (books) because the internet is so easy to get side tracked and forget about main things that shit just doesn't get done. So cutting back on my internet time is a goal of mine for this new found me.

I had started this "do so many things a month" goal at the first of december, but I totally failed at it and I think I was meant to because of the whole spend time with the family while I could deal. So there are a couple of things that I would like to get done before 2013 gets here, but nothing really crazy, because I am not going to try and pull off unrealistic goal in the next couple of days. Here are the couple of things that I would like to get accomplished before Jan 1st.

The Life Calendar - I really want to find a cute little box for mine to, like the one on the left

Memory Jar

I sure hope that I can atleast get these two things done before the new year. I would also like to get some of these done over the break, or before the end of january.

1. Moved back into my house, all my christmas stuff and the rest of my things from my mothers that didn't make it before. 
2. The whole placed cleaned
3. Re-arrange my bedroom 
4. Get my office function-able and organized
5. My piano moved out of my house

Then there is my Dream To Do list which consists of things that I always want to get done, but NEVER sit down to do it. 

1. Re-write my children's books
2. Write more from my other ideas 
3. Work on my personal photography

And finally there are my work projects at the club. 

1. My professional portfolio
2. My Video Project
3. Documenting year book 
4. Idea Book
5. Coloring pages 

I will post my January list soon and a couple other post. I think I am going to do up some posts ahead of time incase there are time I don't feel like blogging. 

Where To Begin

I wish I could say that I have been keeping busy and not rolling around on the floor whining about waiting to get into my house, but really I've just been working and whining haha. I have been some what productive and packed some things up and met with my lawyer last night to sign the papers. This week has been kinda awful though because I haven't been sleeping, there has been a terrible mess going around at work and it's not even like a visible cold. It's something that eats away at the inside of you and just makes you feel DREADFUL, but people look at you and say "k stop acting like you feel shitty," cause they are coughing and sneezing. So yesterday I was extremely exhausted and on top of feeling crappy and dealing with personal issues I had to dish out a bucket full of cash to pay lawyer fees - shoulda become a lawyer now that I see how much I have to dish out on this side of things haha - BUT it's all going to be worth it come thursday!

Since this whole house buying thing started I haven't been able to concentrate on anything but that, so I really really really can't wait to get it over with and go back to normal life, just in my own house. Get organize and get my ass in gear. I have lots of projects that I want to start working on.

Some new things in my life have been,  I started working out with my BioDad/Aunt/Tonia, we went for a two hour walk on tuesday it was pretty great, we were supposed to do it again but I haven't really been feeling that great so we went for a smaller walk on wednesday and then work and exhaustion took over. We are starting a weight loss plan with another friend from work, just so we have someone else to answer to and weigh us in because we can talk each other out of anything. "oh we can go for a walk tomorrow,""a bag of chips never hurt anyone," "well we fell off the wagon already this week, so we'll start over again next monday," and so on! We weigh in at 11:00 and I am DREADING it, only because I know that I cheated myself and gained my weight back that I lost at the first of the year. I'm really hoping that working with her will keep me on track and she'll have great tips about eating right and she's VERY encouraging and understanding!

I also put my name down for a volunteer program, what we called in school "toast cart," so I will be dealing out the toast instead of getting breakfast from it haha. I'm alittle nervous, I start it in october and its only a couple of days a month. The reason I started was because my grandmother does it and I thought it would be a nice thing we could do together and because the boys and girls club does up the schedule I asked to be put on her days :) And even though it will mean earlier mornings those days, I live next door to the school so I can just hop on over real quick before work!

Once I get into the house and get alittle settled I really want to start re-using and re-creating items, so I've been online yard-saling and buying up some things that I want to work on. So I can't wait to start posting about that. I feel so horrible for not blogging much these past coupel of weeks because work has been crazy and buying a house really made me go alittle nuts and I didn't want to do anything my pin because I was so excited. Now that it's actually a few days away I've calmed down and really just want the 5 days to pass by.

The nursery has been pretty great, I'm learning alot and catching on to things, but because I grew up an only child I have to say the past few weeks have been over whelming for sure! So my mother switched my jobs this morning so that I was able to hang out with my older kids and she looked after the babies. I'm so thankful that we can do that on days when things are just too much for one of us, I really miss my "big kids" and it helps when I'm having a bad day cause they really make my day. They all told me that they want to come visit me at my house and I said they REALLY have to come trick-or-treating at my house this year!!

This weekend it's giving alot of rain and I was hoping to get a photo shoot done to pass some of the time, but by the report I won't be able to, still keeping my fingers crossed though. SO if I don't get to do a shoot, I will get another post up on idea's I have for my master bedroom!! I'm so excited, but really unsure of what to do about it!

Stay Happy!!!

Talk About Exciting!

HOLY SWEET LOVE MUFFINS! is my heart racing or what?! The past week has been so crazy, but the past three days have been absolutely intense. Where do I begin...

If you've been reading my posts, I've been blogging lately about growing up and trying to move my life forward because I'm a terrible procrastinator and when I'm not pushing myself I'm a lump on the floor. I've taken charge of my life and I'm going to make the most of it. I also blogged about my options for the future. Last week I was planning on building onto my mothers house next year to have my own spot, but then I thought more and realized I don't want to spend 50-75 thousand dollars on my mothers house until I save up enough money to get a place of my own AND pay off that loan. SO then I was left with buying land and building which means big $$$$ and just buying an existing house.

I started surfing the web and just checking out properties around the island and there were two specific ones that I was thinking about for next year. I made an appointment with the realtor to see my favorite of the two just for fun and hoped it would motivate me to keep saving and keep my focused. Instead I found out that they had dropped the price a significant amount and there had been others looking - which I had already saw because the house in on my way to work, that was on thursday. I got some information on what I would need if I were to put an offer down. Turns out because of my hate for credit cards ( which I think is a good thing ) isn't good for my credit, that meant I needed a co-signer. This is where my dad came in. On friday he went to view the house with me and was against my plan because he didn't want me digging a deathly hole of debt, which I completely understand. But I was persuasive and asked him to think on it over the weekend. On Sunday, I called again and he told me no again. Which I was even more upset about, but I did understand why he would say no, but at the same time just wanted the chance. I budgeted everything out to high prices of expenses and low incomes, not including savings and I still have money left at the end of the month. I really just wanted the chance, because I know that I'm not going anywhere, I moved away for three years and didn't really enjoy myself and ended up back here. This place is my home. After him and my stepmother had talked they decided I deserved a chance.
Yesterday I went to the bank with my Dad, got approved and then put in an offer for the house, signed the papers with a belly for of butterflies and began the wait. I've been going absolutely bat shit crazy waiting. And my realtor is definitely getting a kick of my enthusiastic behaviour toward all this and the fact that I want them to leave everything in the house, because I even love all their stuff - I am still hoping they will leave a pile of it behind because I love vintage things and it's basically all vintage.

So yeah, today all I've done is wait and get nervous, and then overly excited and then anxious because even if I get the house I can't move in until october, which just means MORE waiting and I don't think I can handle that. But I did get word that they do want to move the closing date forward if they accept my offer. I was supposed to get a call at 8, and it is now 8:01 and I'm typing like crazy just to keep my mind of it.

It's an old house, but I love old houses and it's all I've ever lived in and all I ever even looked for in an apartment. It has 9-10 foot ceilings, 2 acres of land that connects to my grand mothers property, a barn, a gorgeous lawn, a spiral stair case, 3 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms.

To help save money I have come up with the idea that I would take on a renter. Who might this be you ask? None other than my bio-bro, Jackson. I don't think I have come cross anyone except his mother that has thought we can pull it off, but I agree with her and think he deserves that chance and definitely needs to learn some responsibilities. I am not afraid to teach him some lessons haha. I think it will be pretty fun on the days we aren't fighting like real brother and sister. He is definitely a character and it will be a hard adjustment, but he's a good kid and I'll teach him the ropes for sure.

OMG it's 8:06 and I still haven't got a call. I also want to make an awesome shout out to all my family that has helped and supported me financially and mentally/morally. I'll post more about the actual house when I know for sure that it's mine. I probably won't even publish this until I know more.

8:09

It's 8:15 and I just bought a house!

Stay Happy!!!

ps. did I mention it has a walk in closet!!! bonus!

Looking Back On "New Goals" & More

Back in April I posted "New Goals," I figured I would update and see what I've actually gotten done and maybe make some more goals.

My goals back in April were : 

1. Getting My Daily Life Organized - I feel I've done a pretty good job getting myself organized, although I have been slacking off since I haven't been filling in much at work, but I do have to give myself credit for keeping on track with the things that I need to get done. I just haven't been writing it down. 
2. Get a Job - check! I do have a job, it hasn't started yet, because we still have to get approved, but I do have the position and I am on call until it starts up!
3. Lost More Weight - complete fail on this one. I haven't been good at all! I have been kicking myself in the ass for this one, I have basically just stayed within the same couple of pounds and this needs to stop. I've been trying to get out and do more, I've been doing lots of lawn work and what not, but overall I've been pretty "cozy." I would like to add that I have a boyfriend that can eat whatever the hell he wants and not gain a pound and it rubs off on me because I like to eat think that I can eat that way too, but I can't at all. So I've asked for support from him and I need to get my weightloss brain back in gear!
4. Finish Clearing A Space For The ChickenCoop and Garnden - This I accomplished, but then we decided that both of these things are going to have to be on hold until next year. Which I wasn't too please about, but time and money had to go into other projects, which is understandable.
5. Finish Preparing For Wedding #1 - Check and Cleared, the wedding was great. 
6. Finish Archiving - Made some progress, but far from finished, I still will be archiving in 2013...it's never ending. 
7. Buy A Prom Dress - Check! along with shoes, jewelry and a new hair do. 

A couple other things that I got accomplished were : Getting Mayor (our rabbit) moved down here, moved Justin down here, made a difference in the yard!, fenced in and cleared a path to the rhubarb patch, and kept up on my daily and weekly things to do. 

From the past couple of days these are things I documented

My BioBro's Graduation Party! Congrats Jackson!! See you on the red carpet for prom! 

Yard work! about 5x15 feet of what you see was very tall grass that I mowed. I also moved the bunny over
where his new pen will be.  

1's - flowers that I bought. 2 - giant lilac bush/tree that I chopped down this morning. 3. new bbq (where the bunny pen used to be all the way over to the other doorstep. 4. bird feeder. AND 5. which you can't see, but right inside the door where you can see my lovely mother tending to laundry, we got a new washer.

I've been craving lobster so my father brought me this beast tonight. Nothing like a lobster that is the
size of your dog. She wasn't impressed at all that I made her may beside him, took me five minutes to
convince her to stay.

My Tinka girl waiting for us to come to bed. 

Justin sleeping. 

Stay Happy! 

New Goals

I am really trying to grow up and start getting my life on a routine. I always feel like my daily life is in chaos, not that anything exciting or chaotic happens, but that I really have no plan for the day and I just wing it as I go along. For people that know me, know that I am a planner. I am always planning my life out, from events to projects at home, and my dream life even has a "plan." I am always so excited to do all the planning and researching, but then when things don't work out according to how I have "planned" them it seems like my life is in turmoil, but I've been trying to break myself of that dramatic habit. I also tried to break myself of the planning, but it seemed nothing good came from that and caused more stress than anything, so it's just the dramatic part of continuing on when I hit a snag in a plan that needs work.

I am a very artistic person, which as the stereotype suggest that I am not the most organized type. This is mostly true, but it's not that I have a problem getting organized, it's staying organized. I have a high novelty seeking personality, so keeping my attention on something for longer than the excitement of starting the project lasts, is a chore. I have been working on this alot lately, I have been trying to make myself keep my room clean and make my bed every morning and keep things in an order and place, instead of having things strewn about and a mess everywhere.

I need do some printing to get myself organized like this

Getting my daily life organized. This is goal number one. I want to get myself into a routine, of getting up, working out, and going off to do the rest of my day. BUT I am not a morning person, I am a night hawk. My internal clock hates me, I am a chronic insomniac which is a nightly battle with me, but I have been doing quite well lately since I have been sharing my bed with my boyfriend. My insomnia is much worse when sleeping alone and it's a great comfort having another body in the bed.

Get a job, is task number two. I have never really worked in my life. I have had summer tourist jobs, but nothing that has ruled my life. So this is something that I am very nervous, but excited about. I have such a fear of failure that I need to fight that and just take a risk and jump into a job position. I have a couple things I am looking into and hopefully I come out alive. My excitement to learn new things is the biggest thing keeping me going on this one.

Lose more weight, I was doing so well a couple months ago and even though I haven't gained anything back, I'm also not making any progress. So I need to break out of this rut and do something different. I found myself a treadmill and hopefully I will be able to have it moved into the house next week. This also helps with my routine I want to get going by working out in the mornings.

this is about the same as what I would like to build

Finish clearing the space for garden and chicken coop, I have so many things that I want to get done outside, but it's been soooo shitty and wet out that I haven't been able to move forward with that either, but I really need to get the yard ready for the garden, chicken coop, bunny pen and compost pile.

Finish preparing for wedding number one, I'll be photographing a wedding in may and I am totally excited about it. I love shooting weddings. Some photographers hate doing wedding photos because it's so much pressure. And as much as I hate stress, I really work great when I know there's alot counting on it. I like the rush and pace of photographing a wedding. I also have a couple others that I will be photography this summer/fall, so I can't wait to get photos up on my blogs. The upcoming photo season has got me quite excited.

This is the dress that I am thinking of getting

Finish archiving, my macbook is in dire need of a good cleaning. So I have been setting up a digital archive of all the photos that I have taken in the past 2-3 years. Which is not a fast moving or exciting task. It's very monotonous and irritating job, but it needs to get done so there will be room for the photos to come. I also have to clean out my music library and other junk on my computer.

And lastly but not any bit least, buy a prom dress. I am going to be accompanying my cousin on the red carpet at grand march. He graduates this year and I couldn't be more proud of my bio-bro. I have no real brothers and sisters, but I am extremely close with my aunt and her boys. So I call them my biofam :) I am pretty excited to be walking the grand march again and it will definitely be interesting going with Jackson. We used to be sworn enemies, so when the family heard he choose me to walk with him it was a shock.