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Wednesday, 6 August 2014

I Do Not Feel Whole

Here I am again, writing another late night blog post to ease my mind in hopes of getting some rest. My mind and soul have been extremely restless and uneasy for the past couple of weeks. There are many things that are the roots of it, but I'm not here to write a lengthy complaint. I would like to say again that this blog is a release for me. I love my life and I'm so happy, but writing out my worries and troubles seems to bring some comfort, so I plan to write a happier post sometime! Haha 

Lately my mind, body and soul have literally felt like there is a piece of me missing. That piece is art. My desire to create is so great inside me, but my exhaustion, discouragement and stress keeps it from coming to the surface. I literally yurn for a time when I will be able to make art whether it be in photography of craft form, and not have so many things in my way. I know this time may never come and I will find a way to work around it all, but I lay in my bed so tired, just wanting to sleep and at the same time I want to get up and do what I really want to do.

I love my fulltime job. I love the kids I take care of and despite our daily arguments I love the lovely bunch of ladies I work with. But a lot of my stress and resentment always comes from my job. Not the job itself, but the amount of time it takes from my life. I need it to provide for myself, I need money, but it leaves me very little time after I take care of my other responsibilities, to have any time or energy to be creative. And that can make me grumpy. And then I get upset about how much the world runs on money and I could go on forever. 
I just want to write alittle something to remind myself that it will be okay. Everything comes at it's own time and although I may not have everything I want right now. I have everything I need and I will continue to receive more as it is meant to happen. You will be able to do what you desire someday soon, it's just not meant to be yet. Be patient and kind while you wait and you will be rewarded. 

On a higher note, I've got 3 of 6 quotes for my studio. Hoping to have the rest and hit the bank next week. I really want to get this studio accomplished this summer/fall/beforewinterhits haha 

Stay positive, happy, healthy and artistic! 

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