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Wednesday, 30 July 2014

Learning To Say No

One of my biggest weaknesses is knowing when to say the word NO. I seriously believe I will probably die from stress from taking on so many things that I don't need to do, all because I was afraid or too shy to say NO or I didn't want to disappoint someone or hurt someone's feelings by saying NO. Instead I suffer for it myself and say yes. Sure I'm all optimistic about it at first, I can conquer the world right? Then a couple weeks pass and it's actually time to follow through with it and what happens? I realize I have seven other things I need to be done today along with that added thing I couldn't say NO to, plus maybe one of two other things I couldn't say NO to. Now comes the time to have a mental breakdown because my plate is FULL, it's over flowing. 
When I'm having a really hard time with all the different, overwhelming thing that are going on in my life at the same time, I try to be positive and say, "it's okay, this isn't bad, this just means your life is full and has lots of meaning." Well there are times when you have to stop being positive and start being realistic. I can't do everything and I can't please everyone and I HAVE to learn to say NO! Yes it is all my problem, when I have to cancel things and disappoint someone or make them upset with me. I should have just said NO in the first place and saved a little less disappointment or anger towards me. But sometimes I can't see how messy and full my life is going to be a few weeks in the future, so I say yes. 
Today has not been my day, it's been very disappointing. One things after another just goes wrong, yes one of those lovely days. I want to crawl into a hole in my bed and sleep until it's over so that nothing else can go wrong, but I feel that because it is only 2:30 in the afternoon, that this is only the beginning of my bad day. Not because I am being negative, but because I have a gut feeling. 

Back to learning how to say NO, this has been an ongoing issue most of my life and here I am going to vow to TRY my HARDEST to say NO from now on, when it is needed. I want to do everything, but mentally, emotionally, financially and time wise I can't do everything. But my want to do it and my need to people please, blurts of YES's left and right. I'm tired of feeling like I am drowning and it's all because of myself taking on things I shouldn't take on. 
I love my life, even though close friends and family might hear my curse it. But I do have a good, full live that I am fighting to make better and better everyday. I just tend to cram as much into it as possible and end up overwhelmed, stressed, and crying in a corner alone on the phone to my mother. Who cannot fix everything, where I am left to make tough decisions that I usually hate making and could have been solved by saying NO to begin with. 

This was a short blog for me, but really it was just to make me feel better and to stop me from panicking about how my day has been going. Writing it out always seems to calm me down and give me a worldly sense that I am probably not the only one that has felt this way or the only one that even feels this way right at this moment. It sucks, but it's all a learning experience. 

Keep saying NO, when you need to. Don't overwhelm yourself and try to look weeks or month into the future before you say YES to something, chances are things aren't going to be a peachy as they are the day you are faced with question of if you can or can't do something. 

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