When Life Gives You Lemons, Say I Like Watermelon Better

Life has really been kicking me in the ass lately. I'm trying not to complain too much about it, because some pretty good things have been happening too. There are always three ways to look at things - positively, negatively and obliviously. I am trying to keep positive, but sometimes that can be really hard to do.

The past couple of days I've actually been in a pretty good mindset. Thursday I started staying at my house alone (I will get to why after) and spent some "me" time on getting some things ready for work and catching up on tv shows. Friday I put my tree in and decorated it, while also having it fall on top of me in the process. It really did look beautiful after it was completed. Saturday I woke up and got ready to head of to the annual Christmas Market that is held in our community every year, I spent alittle cash and headed home with a bag full of goodies. Once I arrived back home, I got this fantastic urge to clean. I re-arranged my pantry and cupboards, cleaned my kitchen, porch and laundry room. It didn't take me long and I felt awesome about what I had accomplished, I hadn't cleaned that much since I had moved in. 

Living alone has really made me not only bored, but it has seemed to free up some of my time. Instead of always cuddling on the couch watching tv shows, I'm wandering around the house looking for something to do. 

Now about why I am living alone. It's not something that I want to elaborate on too much, but most people know that Justin and I have our fair share of problems in our relationship, but we also have our own individual problems and issues. He is manic depressive and suffers from anxiety with a touch of bi-polar and I'm OCD with depression and weight issues. But we want to be together and we fight for and work together or try to atleast. Justin has an addictive personality and I have a high novelty seeking personality. So I am always searching for a change or something new when he is stuck on one thing. So he's gotten himself into a bit of a mess with alcohol and it's really become too much for me to help him control. I have a bad temper and because I don't understand why he can't just "stop" we always end up fighting and when he's been drinking, his temper isn't that great either. He's moved back to his parents so that he can hopefully get past this problem and we can eventually go back to living together. But with alcohol came the sneaking and the lying, which is something that I hate the most. I HATE lying and although I do it on occasion because I am not perfect, my guilt will eat me alive about it. But most of the time I just don't understand it, if a friend asks me to lie to someone for them, most of the time it ends up hilarious because I can't wrath my head around the reason someone would want to lie and then I can't come up with anything that would make sense to say. That's beside the point though, because of how many lies have been in our relationship lately, my trust is just about gone and it really hurts me to say that. I used to be such a trusting person and now I barely trust anyone. 

I stayed with my mother last night because of a life changing event for her, she got her very first computer...and I had to teach her how to use it. Although training has just begun, she does have an email, facebook and pinterest account and can work all those herself. So day one of training went well. I stayed tonight because today was a very "blah" day, I slept most of it and when I went home my beautiful christmas tree had fallen down and a bunch of ornaments were broken and I just was too aggravated to be home, so I locked up and came back down to my mothers after standing up and tying the tree off. Atleast I get to go through the fun of re-decorating my tree. 

Some good things that I've got going right now other than having my house clean and teaching my mother the ways of the "current world" I am working on a new project for work. As an educator in a daycare, we have to document what the infants and children do and learn, how they live their lives at daycare. It's my favorite thing about work, because I get to use my photography and photoshop skills at my job, which I didn't think I would get to use much, but I bring quite a bit to the table when it comes to documenting. Right now I am working on video documenting, when I quit art school to move back to my hometown I was learning about video. I had been really excited about it until the worst of my depression had hit and I stopped going to school or even getting out of bed. So I'm starting to teach myself and working on a few projects. The BG Club has video equipment, so maybe as I learn more I can start using some of their tools later on. 

My biggest news of all and probably the reason that I haven't given up after all this alcohol craziness (which by the way has made me hate booze and I have been sober myself since August, whoop whoop go me!) is TomTom. TomTom is a cerebellar hypoplasia kitten. A litter of kittens that the St. Stephen SPCA took in were affected by the disorder. Most of the kittens are mildly affected with very little displays of the condition, two of the kittens are moderately affected, TomTom being the most affected. What is Cerebellar Hypoplasia? They also call it drunken sailor or wobbler kitten, it affects the cerebellum in the developing stages in the womb. Sometimes if a pregnant cat is vaccinated during her pregnancy it can cause this disorder in her kittens, or if the cerebellum is damaged somehow during a kittens term in the womb. The kittens motor skills are affected and some kittens may have only mild tremors, moderate walking troubles or some kittens can have CH so severely that they will never walk. The one thing to remember about these kitties is that they are in no pain and don't realize they are any different from their fellow cats. Sure they do feel it when they bump into the wall or fall, but I don't have CH and I probably have more bruises and cuts than this kitten. 

I didn't plan on adoption another cat for a couple of years. I just took in a kitten from a local family and she was infested with fleas, so after cleaning her up and getting her back to a healthy kitten state. I said no more cats. Then I read about TomTom and it touched my heart in a way I can't explain, maybe it's because I've worked with special needs kids or on some level believe I'm kinda "special" myself. But I just had a feeling that TomTom was for me. I emailed right away, but felt the need to make sure that TomTom was adopted by me that I called the SPCA, you know I am serious about something when I pick up the phone and actually speak to someone. I HATE phone calls. So after waiting for paperwork to go through and cheques to be received they finally told me a week later that TomTom will be mine :) 

I was so speechless and excited when I found out. Yes my house is full of animals, yes I like it and no I don't care that you think I shouldn't have four cats, a dog and a giant bunny, but I do and I love them all more than I like most people. These days I have become a home body and keep to myself alot, those four cats, a dog and a giant bunny are my family. We share a 3bdrm house and although they don't pitch in on chores, I don't mind cleaning up after them, cause I love them. 

Here is a photo (right) and a video of TomTom. I am not sure what I am going to name him once he moves in, so I am just calling him what his name is at the shelter, I don't mind TomTom and maybe it will even stay that, but I want to meet him first before I decide on a name. For more information about CH cats visit HERE.

So far he has been able to take 10 steps without falling over, hopefully with practice and muscle development he will walk alittle farther as her grows. If he doesn't thats okay too, we'll love him anyway :)

Stay Happy! <3 and don't be afraid to adopt an animal with special needs, read up about there care and understand what they are dealing with, don't go over your head either! But animals with special needs deserve loving homes too :)