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Sunday, 12 August 2012

Trials and Tribulations

Geez, where do I even begin. Yesterday was just one of those days where everything seems impossible for the future and what was the present was crashing down around me. Note that things weren't very good for me on the inside because I had missed a depression med and started my period of the same day.

I've been trying to build up a realistic dream of what I want for the next year or so and I thought I had figured it out. I was planning on building a studio and mini apartment/reallybigbedroom onto my mothers place, because currently I just live is what was the "den" on the first level and for a couple to live in it there isn't much privacy. But it just seems that the more I look into it the more it's going on cost and I really don't want to spend that large amount of money on something that I just want to be temporary. I'm a very impatient person, so I am one of those girls that's always been in a rush to grow up, now that I'm here it's stressful but I like it, but I'm still wanting my life to progress further. I want to get my business going, a house built, a family started and I just don't know how to go about it.
Basically my options right now are 1. spend like 75000 and build on to my mothers house and try to live there until I pay it off...which isn't even really an option for me right now.  2. spend like triple that on buying land and building a starter home and 3. buying a house that stands and trying to make what I want out of it, which is looking like what I may have to do and go back to my land plan later. And oh yeah, I'm broke. I do have a full time job secured, but it's been set back after set back trying to get the nursery running. It's so depressing and hard to plan something that is so expensive when you have like the smallest percentage of what you need to get going.

So please if you're an islander and have some spare land or cash lying around, I'm not below charity at this point haha.

Back to yesterday, I was feeling very quite and just wanted to be left alone to mope about my lack of funds. I decided that I would read a book because I was getting quite excited for my birthday gift to arrive. My lovely boyfriend went all out and bought me the new nexus 7 tablet :) because I wanted alittle more than an ereader. I started to read a book that I had wanted to get at for a while and I'm alittle over half way through.

To make my day better, but lovely boyfriend came home and the drama begun, being a young couple with history and trying to work through the past while starting a future, I'm not ashamed to say we fight. We're both dramatic people and each of us have our own special communication problems. I'm loud and get upset easy and he tends to only hear what he wants and likes to exaggerate. So we piss each other off and make the fight bigger haha, but the good thing is we always sit down talk it through and move on from it.
The thing that I've learned the most from our 3yr previous relationship, 1yr break and now our new 5 month relationship is that I seriously love the guy. Even though we drive eachother mad sometimes or pis each other off and do things that we shouldn't, at the end of the day we're mad about each other and go to bed happy. I'm a big believer in never going to bed mad at each other, so I always make sure we talk things out no matter how late we have to stay up, I just can't lie next to someone that I'm angry at.

Yesterday wasn't all bad, things that cheered me up were that I'm doing pretty great at not chewing my nails. They actually look pretty nice, but how long that lasts I have no idea. I've done this before and chewed them after a couple months, but I going to try EXTRA hard not to this time.
I spent a few hours with my Dad and stepmom, we had lunch together and I also got to order my birthday present from Justin :) Yes I am one of those people that likes to pick out their own gifts - I'll probably blog about this control freak problem around christmas. The main reason I got this was because I wanted an ereader, but I kinda wanted alittle more than just an ereader, so I did some research and read alot of reviews and I think that I found what I want for the price we could afford.

 I'm so excited to get it!!! Thanks babe <3

A few other things were able to cheer me up yesterday and remind me that life's still good. I kept checking my phone and looking a a photo of me and one the cutest, sweetest little boys I know. I worked all day friday so I got to spend most of the day playing with him, his twin brother, older sister and all the other kids. Those little people are the best thing to cheer up a girl :) Here are some photos of the kids and things that I have been working on over the past week or so.

He can cheer me up no matter what's making me sad!! 

Last week mom and I tacked the jean quilt she'd been working on for
Tinka wasn't that great a help, but she sure is the cutest :) 
Calli didn't want to reading yesterday, she actually hasn't left me alone
for the past two days... oh and she's allergic to Tinka's food and
over-grooms herself that's why she has a sore on her back :(
I'm going to try and construct a fabric collar to stop her licking.

This man always puts a smile on my face! 
Last weekend my friend Lisa came down with Jo to visit :) 

We went to see the alpaca's at Darren's house! (link to their cottage site
at the end!)

They have mini sheep too! 

All adorable animals!! 
I watched the rotary fireworks from the sea this year :)

The reflections on the water made it even more lovely! 
Friday at work Libby did and awesome job coloring her lighthouse!

All the kids love my iphone, but Sabe definitely loved taking selfportraits! 
Me and Lib :) 
 I've been meaning to make more posts or more frequent ones, but my life seems to be upside down half the time these days. But I'll try to do my best this week, I always think of good blog posts when I'm not in the blogging mood haha

Here's the link to the Darren's summer chalet :)

Stay Happy!!!

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