Numbness And Pain At Once

The past couple of days have been alittle rough, for the people around me and for myself. Friday night I went out to this GORGEOUS house at the back of the island. The owner is a wonderful sweet woman who is gorgeous herself and has wonderful taste and style! There were six of us women, I being the youngest and feeling a bit immature, but that was my own insecurities and worries. The women welcomed me and didn't pay any mind to my age difference. It was a perfect evening of laughs and wine along with a broccoli bread treat representing certain parts of the body ;) haha Later in the evening a friend got a disturbing text that soon turned the evening into confusion and sadden hearts for our friend. As the night turned into very early morning feels changed to anger and support. This woman is one of the kindest, sweetest and most beautiful and viewed as the perfect wife. She never deserved the blow that her husband mistakenly texted her over the girls night. She has been through more than anyones share of hardships in her life and she's pushed through it all, she's independent, smart, strong, and calm - even when we all expect her to go psycho and for good reason. She'll make it through this, but she will need her friends and family to catch her when she feels weak <3

Yesterday, I slept in and bummed around the house most of the day, working away at photos and cleaning, along with some pinning and watching tv shows. My mother and I decided to go out to camp for a girls night with our dear friend and some of her family. It was a great night of laughs, food and nostalgic talks of the past. I enjoyed listening to the stories of the older woman of their childhood and "younger" years.

Photos From Yesterday

kinda bored waiting to go to camp

my calli's been fighting with her ex

we aren't normal.

or I'm not anyway

ready for raining dark harbour

Dark harbour

ladies <3 

I came home from camp and picked up the mail at midnight and my parcel had arrived. A few weeks ago I had ordered old photos off of Etsy.com. I collect camera's and photos, especially old cameras and photos. I love most vintage items, but being a photographer I love old photos. They are someone's memories and moments from their life and I like to look at the photos and think of who these people were, good or bad, what were their secrets?,  jobs?, fears? and lost more. 

And now for the part of my weekend that I hated most. When I was 12 or 13 I was diagnosed with migraines and for years in highschool I would get one to three migraines a month. I would lose my peripheral vision and have blind spots in my eyes, numbness in my fingers and lips, then the pain for start and I could be out for a couple of days each time. Some people didn't believe me, including my parents at first. My mother started to believe me the first time I lost feeling in my right arm. I couldn't move it very well and it felt like stone or that it wasn't there at all. It was just my fingers to my elbow. I have been known to be a drama queen at times, but I have been through alot of painful things, dry sockets after my wisdom teeth were removed. My parents didn't believe me so they went untreated for 2 weeks. I don't blame my parents, because when I was a child I had to have a band-aid for every cut and bruise. And illness made great excuses for skipping school when I got older. But they were no excuse and when people would say things to make me believe that they didn't think I was being honest about the condition, I would wish they could understand how REAL migraines are. But I never wanted to wish that pain upon anyone. I've put myself through alot of shit, scooter accidents, dry sockets, nerve damage, tonsillitis and so many other things but migraines are by far the scariest and most painful. 

I have been on meds to try to prevent them and keep them at bay for a few years now and so far it works, I used to have two or three a month, now I have two or three a year. But when I have one it's big.

I had one of these last night, I woke up around 4, tossing and turning in pain, but I'm very disoriented when I wake up with one. I made justin go get my mother because I wasn't quite sure what was going on. Most of my vision was gone, but I could make out pieces of things, and my right arm all the way up to my elbow was numb and stone like. I didn't have much of a range of motion with it. Then my left did the same and I lost the feeling in my face and throat. I lose my speech as well, my words or slurred or backwards and I can't make full sentences. I sounds hilarious, but it's quite frustrating at the time :P 

I know there are MANY others out there that share the same condition I do, I just want you to know that you aren't alone when you're head is hurting sooo bad that it's painful to put a cold cloth to your forehead or lie your head on a pillow. Others know what you are going through. 

Stay Happy and Healthy! 

<3 

Am I The Only One?

I just read Bailey J's "Am I The Only One" post and decided to make my own. I don't think I would have ever come up with the idea to do a post like this on my own, yet when I'm away from my computer I always think of strange things and wonder, does anyone else do this? I should blog about it later, and never get to it. So here it is :

Am I the Only One?

that lives scenarios in their head? It doesn't matter if I'm at the mirror, in the shower, on the toilet, laying in bed, or putting on my makeup, if something is bothering me I relive what would happen if I got to confront them, sometimes I even catch myself mouthing the words or actually saying them haha

that rapes their boxed store bought pizza? When I am at home and about to chow down on a piece of delissio I first strip it of it's toppings cause thats the best part so I eat it last. I'm left with a saucy piece of bread to start with, I tear little piece of it and eat it little by little until it's gone then I eat all the juicy toppings, but I leave the bottom - the crunchy part of the crust that touches the pan, cause i don't like that shit. 

that loves starting a tv show when there are 4 or more seasons that I can watch all in a row? I love most tv shows, but I think that even if I didn't like the show if I was able to watch it start to finish chances are I would like it.

that has a huge dream that will take so much money to accomplish, but it determined to make it happen?

that sometimes thinks she has a second personality, like another version of myself?

that LOVES SaveEasy frosting, literally could eat a cake that was just made of that frosting?

that wishes she was born in the 20's or 30's? Or atleast wishes the world was a combination of how people used to live in the past with the technology of today.

that really wants a farm?

that really wishes that people did more stuff for themselves. I wish cars were built so you could fix them yourself with a pair of pantyhose instead of having to take them to a specialist that will charge you big bucks to get it fixed. Or that you could do your own plumbing like fixing your sink without getting a 5000.00 fine because a licensed plumber didn't do it. If you want to do it yourself and know how, I think you should be able to without being fined because a specialist didn't do it. I don't get upset when people take photos of people and they didn't go to school for it. Grow up people. 

that wants to live off the grid? 

There are SO many more that I could come up with but I'll save it for another day. Let me know if i'm not the only one!

Stay Happy! 

It Feels Like Forever

Holy shit it feels like it's been forever since I last posted and it hasn't even been that long! I've been soooo busy and so worn out that I can't even process everything that I have been doing and everything that's been going on. I REALLY need my job to start because my life is pure chaos when I don't have routine and there is nothing routine about my life right now. My head is spinning from just having no clue what I am doing day to day. So I am extremely excited for my job to start next month, which is a month later than I was hoping, but I will be picking up a few days on call over the next couple of weeks.

As for what has been going on with me over the past week and some here is a list :

Not so good things :

1. fallen off my organization track
2. fallen off my weight loss track
3. my bunny boy escaped his cage 
4. my womanly time of the month presented it's self for prom - nothing like being moody, bloated, and trying to keep my face blemish free before trying to walk the red carpet in 5 inch heels.

Good thing : 

1. found awesome buys at yardsales 
2. found my bunny after 2 days of horrible worry, but he seemed completely stress free lounging in the neighbors yard.
3. went to prom
4. went to prom party and got to see a bunch of people I hadn't seen for ages. 
5. got to see mostly all of my family for celebration of my biobro's graduation! we're all so proud of him! 
6. i had a couple days of work last week which was great to see all the kids :) 
7. i've taken ALOT of photos this week and done alot of editing, which is good, but bad for my headaches. 

And of course photos of things I have been working on and things that have been going on!! 

My Shepard/Husky Mix "T-Bear"

I bought three big things of flowers to lighten up the outside of my house
I should have left it alone, I am terrible at keeping plants alive.

I found the BEST thing I could have found at a yardsale,
a wooden filing cabinet, I've been looking for quite awhile. Callie thought
she would help me with some filing.

After his 2 day adventure, I caught him and put him back in his temporary cage. I am
building his new one this weekend! I would like to point out my skills with a jigsaw,
I cute out that wonderful arch in his house, which he doesn't like, but either way it's
a nice hole. 

Photo from a cap and gown shoot I did for Jackson

Photo from a cap and gown shoot I did for Jackson

It would appear that Jackson and I aren't really normal. As youngsters we beat the
crap out of each other, most of the time I came out the winner, but now he can
hold his own. Our prom shoot (Tonia/BioDad had the camera not me obviously)
was alittle odd :P 

But we can put on our normal faces and look pretty good :) 

My cousin Eric, on my fathers side also graduated! 

I was able to get a photo of justin and I together! 

As for photoshoots after prom, I had junior prom shoots and an infant shoot! Both went great as always, I think I might be fitting in another photoshoot maybe tomorrow with my aunt who is hear visiting from PEI.

Lauren

Katie

Zoey

A fun photo with the girls! 

Baby Grace

 I will be posting more photos from my shoots on my photo blog tomorrow, or rather today, but I need to get some sleep. You wouldn't think that sitting at a computer going through photos would make you tired, but honestly my eyes and brain feel like they are on fire. I need to get out and enjoy some fresh air tomorrow! Might drive around and visit some people or something.

Stay Happy :)

Looking Back On "New Goals" & More

Back in April I posted "New Goals," I figured I would update and see what I've actually gotten done and maybe make some more goals.

My goals back in April were : 

1. Getting My Daily Life Organized - I feel I've done a pretty good job getting myself organized, although I have been slacking off since I haven't been filling in much at work, but I do have to give myself credit for keeping on track with the things that I need to get done. I just haven't been writing it down. 
2. Get a Job - check! I do have a job, it hasn't started yet, because we still have to get approved, but I do have the position and I am on call until it starts up!
3. Lost More Weight - complete fail on this one. I haven't been good at all! I have been kicking myself in the ass for this one, I have basically just stayed within the same couple of pounds and this needs to stop. I've been trying to get out and do more, I've been doing lots of lawn work and what not, but overall I've been pretty "cozy." I would like to add that I have a boyfriend that can eat whatever the hell he wants and not gain a pound and it rubs off on me because I like to eat think that I can eat that way too, but I can't at all. So I've asked for support from him and I need to get my weightloss brain back in gear!
4. Finish Clearing A Space For The ChickenCoop and Garnden - This I accomplished, but then we decided that both of these things are going to have to be on hold until next year. Which I wasn't too please about, but time and money had to go into other projects, which is understandable.
5. Finish Preparing For Wedding #1 - Check and Cleared, the wedding was great. 
6. Finish Archiving - Made some progress, but far from finished, I still will be archiving in 2013...it's never ending. 
7. Buy A Prom Dress - Check! along with shoes, jewelry and a new hair do. 

A couple other things that I got accomplished were : Getting Mayor (our rabbit) moved down here, moved Justin down here, made a difference in the yard!, fenced in and cleared a path to the rhubarb patch, and kept up on my daily and weekly things to do. 

From the past couple of days these are things I documented

My BioBro's Graduation Party! Congrats Jackson!! See you on the red carpet for prom! 

Yard work! about 5x15 feet of what you see was very tall grass that I mowed. I also moved the bunny over
where his new pen will be.  

1's - flowers that I bought. 2 - giant lilac bush/tree that I chopped down this morning. 3. new bbq (where the bunny pen used to be all the way over to the other doorstep. 4. bird feeder. AND 5. which you can't see, but right inside the door where you can see my lovely mother tending to laundry, we got a new washer.

I've been craving lobster so my father brought me this beast tonight. Nothing like a lobster that is the
size of your dog. She wasn't impressed at all that I made her may beside him, took me five minutes to
convince her to stay.

My Tinka girl waiting for us to come to bed. 

Justin sleeping. 

Stay Happy! 

A Kitty Kat's Birthday

There is one girl that is by far the sweetest girl that I know. I absolutely can't think of any once else that can compare to how awesome she is. She's beautiful, kind, loving, funny and smart. My biobro is the luckiest guy on the planet. I'm proud to call this girl my little sister and I couldn't be more happy for her on her sweet 16th which was on the 7th, but her surprise party was today. My family and her incredibly sweet family with all their little ones came together for hotdogs, fruit, cake, balloons - lots of balloons, laughs and even some firework-like candles on the cake. It was my first time really meeting her whole family and I seriously couldn't have met better people and their kids are all adorable.

blowing out her candles

nothing like a candle big enough to set off the smoke alarms or maybe it's just that hot girl behind the cake ;)

this little boy is the chubbiest, cutest little native baby that i've ever seen
and wasn't he on a mission.

look at those cheek and dark brown eyes <3 they're gonna have a heart breaker on their hands!

Meow and all her balloons, there were 66 in total at the party. I think she lost a few to the kids having fun with the helium. 

Again look at those cheeks!!! he wasn't giving me any head way with a grin or even a smile, but he really liked my phone.

getting ready to transport the balloons.

The birthday girl riding on back of the truck with her massive amount of balloons, she got alot of honks on the way home!

I really hope that she had a great day all for her :) she deserved it!! <3 

Stay Happy!! 

Jam With Gram

A couple of days ago I made plans with my grandmother to do some baking. We're very close, literally she lives across the street from me. As I said I have been sick the past couple days and originally we planned to do this all on wednesday, but I wasn't feeling quite up to it. Today I woke up feeling quite a bit better, but still hearing in one ear as if I was underwater.
I made myself a list and a little note of encouragement to get up and forget about being sick, while still snug in my bed at 8am this morning I got called into work for the lunch hour shifts. Baking with gram was on hold once again. Finally around 2 I was able to get off work and make it to my grandmothers. Our list of to do's were Tweed Squares, Strawberry Rhubarb Jam and Bean Salad.

yum

my pouring skills could use some work

Stay Happy!

My Favorite Artists

I've been doing alot of cleaning out of a pins and I got to my art board and decided that I would make a little post about my favorite artists. Some new, some old, but the fact is I love them all. I wish I was a quarter of as talented with a brush or pencil as some of these people are. I've just never been able to see something in my head and put it to paper.

Number One

Draw Gabby Draw - I'm not quite sure what her last name is but click on the name to see her tumblr. I've been watching her blog for years now, ever since I laid eyes on her work I was in love. Someday I will purchase one of art pieces to hang on my wall :) It's actually going on my summer to do list! 

This was the piece I originally fell for

My favorite watercolor of hers :) 

I love her strange and creative creatures!

Number Two

Duane Bryers - I recently discover these works on a blog that I follow. I was overly excited because I LOVE vintage, if I could choose the day and age to live in I would go back and live through the 20's 30's 40's 50's and 60's. I wish I could have seen the world the way my grandparents and great grandparents seen it. I love pin ups and I love when plus size women are recognized as beautiful!! Being a plus size girl most of my life I struggled with self esteem issues, but recently I have seen the world with a new light. I've decided to love myself. So Duane's "Hilda" series really made me happy. 

I love how he uses expression

Number Three

Brett Superstar - I pinned one of his photos awhile back and today I looked through his art and loved his comedic and cartoon-like artwork. I absolutely love his animals, mostly his birds! 

I think this pretty lady deserves her own movie! I love her! 

I love that he uses materials like old wood! 

I adore the bottom left! 

Number Four

Jaw Cooper - I just discovered this artist as well, on DrawGabbyDraw. The reason why I love this specific piece is the detail and the hair. I love art nouveau and the movement of her hair immediately reminded me of the dramatic swirls that art nouveau has.

 

Number Five

Brittany Burton - I haven't looked at alot of her stuff, but I really enjoy her floral pieces. Love the colors!

These are all modern artists, I'm not quite sure who I would choose as far as historical artists go. I took alot of art history while in school, but I would have to brush up on it before finding out who my favorites were, the only ones I can really remember were the ones that I hated. I think that the internet has been a huge breakthrough for artists, just having your stuff out there surfing around for anyone to see. Some people may think of it as a bad thing, but if you create art on the mean reason that someone else see it and enjoy it, just dreaming about who could have seen it and liked it is nice to think about!

Stay Happy and Try creating something beautiful sometime :)